


Summertime, Won't You Stay

by shoyou10010698



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Aquaria is 18, Cracker is 33, F/F, Lesbian AU, Mommy Kink, Mutual Pining, Praise Kink, cis girl au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-05 18:11:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoyou10010698/pseuds/shoyou10010698
Summary: “It’s nice to finally meet you.” The blonde smiled, her perfect winged eyes crinkling in the corners. “Your mom has told me so much about you.” Something in Aquaria’s chest twisted at the woman’s soft voice as she gently grasped Aquaria’s hands in her small calloused palms. “I’m Brianna Cracker.”Oh, Aquaria thought, an ice cold wave of realization crashing through her.Fuck.Or, Brianna is Sharon’s new girlfriend and Aquaria can’t help but fall. Hard.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, Ems here! This is my first fic so it's a bit rough. Please don't be afraid to let me know if there are any mistakes/areas to improve! I'm planning this out as a five-part series and will be updating every few days. 
> 
> Also, just a little warning that there's a very very brief and vague mention of past abuse in this chapter. 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy and leave a kudos/comment if you like it ^^ Hit me up on tumblr @aquafeelingmyoats if you want to chat. 
> 
> Lastly, please do not share this with any of the queens. Thanks!

The sticky summer heat clung like a second layer of skin to Aquaria Needles’ pale damp body. A pair of shades sat delicately on her nose, blocking the worst of the sun’s rays from her carefully drawn on eyeliner. She groaned and attempted blot away the sweat on her face for the third time. 

“How much longer are you going to tan out here bitch? I swear we’ve been out here for hours.”

On the pool chair next to her, her best friend Jordan rolled his eyes and proceeded to turn over and tan the other side of his body. “I told you Aqua, it’s summer, and if we’re going to finally get some before we leave for college, we have to tan our pale white asses.” 

“Girl…” Aquaria sighed and pulled her black locks into a loose bun. It was her last summer in this slow suburban neighborhood in West Chester, where the most action anyone saw was when a neighbor’s husband was caught cheating with the groundskeeper. On even the best days, Aquaria felt constricted, like there was a solid iron chain around her chest, like she was trapped in an endless cycle of mediocrity. What she wanted was the life and excitement of a big city, like New York, where she was going in the fall. She leaned over and took a sip of the red bull on the table by her pool chair. What she wanted was to go clubbing with the big names like Susanne Bartsch, rub shoulders with Marco and Nicola, share the thick book full of her designs that were currently shoved haphazardly under her bed. 

A small grimace twisted her face. It would be hard once she left. She knew, but god she wanted it so bad.

The rhythmic beats of _Venus_ suddenly cut through the silence. Jordan jolted awake in surprise next to her, his sunglasses hanging crookedly off one ear. Aquaria snorted and reached for her phone. The can of red bull tipped over as she leaned over. Aquaria groaned and attempted to wipe it up with her towel while answering her phone without looking. 

“Hello?”

“Hi honey, how are you?” 

Aquaria swallowed thickly and sat up, the can forgotten at her feet. “Oh, hi Sh—mom. Um, hey. I’m good.” She could feel Jordan’s questioning gaze, but she kept her eyes on the still pool in front of her.

There was a crackle as Sharon coughed delicately. “That’s great to hear!” A pause. “Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be coming home early tomorrow. There’s been a break in my tour since our lead guitarist is out for the summers—Joey tripped over wiring during soundcheck yesterday and broke his wrist, can you believe it—and I’ll be coming home—“

“You’re coming home?” Aquaria asked. She fidgeted with few strands sticking out of her bun. “I mean, not that—it’s just a little out of the blue since it’s been a while.” 

“Yes, I’m coming home,” replied Sharon. Sharon sighed softly and continued, “I know it’s a bit sudden but I figured it was due time.” 

Aquaria’s throat clicked. The residue of red bull began to feel sticky on her fingers, so she started to halfheartedly clean the mess up again. 

“Sounds good, mom.”

“I’m actually on the way now…and I’ve met someone actually. She so lovely. Her name’s Brianna Cracker and I met her at my show last month in Oslo. She’s actually from New York—you’re going there for college right? What are the chances? Brianna can show you around once you leave in the fall, get you adjusted to the city life. She owns several clubs there and knows her way around. I’ve told her all about you and she’s so excited to meet you. Anyways,” rambled Sharon, “I’ll probably get there early tomorrow and bring Brianna around to see you sometime this week.”

Grabbing the towel beneath her, Aquaria scrubbed harder at the missed stain on her thigh.

“Aquaria?”

She stopped and sucked in a breath. “Can’t wait,” said Aquaria. “I’m happy for you.” Then, more genuinely, “I’m glad you’re coming home.”

“Me too.”

Aquaria couldn’t help but give a small smile. She could imagine the wide grin on her mom’s as she juggled the phone and a double soy latte while speeding down the freeway in her oversized g-wagon. 

“Anyways, I have to go now. I’ll talk to you later Aquaria. Bye, love you.”

“Kay, bye. Love you too.”

The line clicked off. 

“So…” Jordan started. “What’s up?”

“Sharon’s coming home.”

Jordan frowned. “You mom? That’s…good. Right? She’s been gone for what, almost three months by now?”

Aquaria sighed. “Yeah, I know,” she muttered. “I’m happy, really. It’s just, she’s found someone, bringing a girl home—which is great! I’m glad she found some. But after last time, with, you know.”

“With Alaska?”

She nodded in confirmation. “It took her so long to get over her and I can’t help but feel like it’ll end in shit all over again. And…whenever she’s with someone, she never has enough time for…well, yeah.”

Jordan stood up and sat next to her and looked at her knowingly. He nudged her shoulder “Well, whoever the bitch is, if she turns out to be a gold-digging mouth breathing shit bag, I’ll come after her and kick her ass out of your house myself.” 

Aquaria giggled and shoulder bumped Jordan back in thanks. God, she loved him. When she was younger, Jordan always made sure no one would screw with her, even after she eventually grew to be taller than him. He always had her back and now was no exception.

Jordan squeezed her hand and walked back to his pool chair. 

“Whatever, lets forget this for now. Are you going to Blair’s party next week?”

The sun’s blinding rays had mellowed into a softer pink light. Aquaria stretched out her arms and rolled to face Jordan. “Yeah, probably. Let’s go together.”

“Of course.” Jordan grinned. “Let’s get back to tanning to we can look bronzed and fierce for the party.”

Aquaria rolled her eyes but let a small smile quirk her lips.

“Yeah, yeah okay girl.”

—

Aquaria never had a close relationship with her mom, mainly because she was never around. 

She never blamed Sharon. Sharon was only eighteen when a drunken experimental hook up with a boy left her pregnant at the cusp of adulthood, with no support in a small religious town that quietly ostracized her until she couldn’t take it and left. It must’ve been hard raising Aquaria alone on a string of minimum wage jobs and a dream to make it big. She did eventually make it.

When Aquaria was thirteen, she could remember suddenly living in a big, big house, with a room almost the size of her old apartment and a new babysitter that stayed at home instead of her mom. From then on, it was monthly visits from Sharon, made up of random trinkets from various states and countries, and an unfamiliarity that deepened with each passing year. 

Aquaria sighed and kicked aside a stray ball that was on the short path from Jordan’s house to hers. 

She was excited to see her mom after her “Work the World” European tour, but it was her new girlfriend that left a mild pool of dread in Aquaria’s stomach. Sharon was perfectly fine during a relationship, but it was the after that Aquaria feared. At first, her break ups would throw Sharon in a drinking binge, followed by another tour that took her away for a couple months. But then came Alaska: three years of dating and promises that ended with a broken Sharon after Alaska’s string of affairs came to light.

Aquaria winced. She could still remember that night: so much shouting and broken glass and Sharon had stormed into the kitchen after as Alaska followed pleading at her. Eventually, Alaska left with a messily packed bag and Sharon threw whatever she could find at her, even after the door closed, the bowls and picture frames smacking violently into the door and a nearby book shelf because of Sharon’s drunken aim. Aquaria was on the sofa right next to the door and—

Nothing. 

Aquaria buried that day far into the recesses of her mind. There was no point in dwelling in the past. 

In the distance, the bright lights of her two-story house came into view. Aquaria wiped at the sweat on her forehead and hurried her steps. From where she was standing, she could see the tail end of a car jutting out of the garage. Maybe her mom came home early?

After reaching the house, she noticed that most of the living room lights were off. It dawned on Aquaria that Sharon probably came home dead tired, straight off a plane, and immediately crashed into bed. She pulled down the handle slowly in an attempt to be silent and stepped in. 

The door clicked close quietly and Aquaria began toeing off her sandals. She paused. 

There, sitting on the stiff suede sofa that was more a glorified prop than actual furniture, was a woman that looked like she could be on the cover of both Women’s Health and Vanity Fair’s home lifestyle magazine. She was all high cheekbones and soft red lips. Doe eyes and Barbie-blonde curls. Young, but with faint laughter lines by her mouth and eyes. Aquaria traced the slopes of her generous curves, clad in a tight pink dress, but also the defined muscles evident on the uncovered parts of her arms and shoulders. _Beautiful_ , Aquaria thought, then quickly looked away. A faint flush graced her cheeks. 

Where the heck did that come from? 

Aquaria glanced over again. The woman seemed to be distracted, sending a message on her phone. 

Most importantly…who was she?

“Hi, um…” Aquaria started as she made her way over to the couch. The woman turned around in surprise. 

“Oh, hello.”

Aquaria raised her hand in a half-hearted waving motion. “I don’t mean to mean to be like rude or anything but—eek!”

In her shock at the woman’s presence, Aquaria forgot to take off her sandals completely, the straps tangling her already clumsy feet together, making her lose her balance and trip over the carpet. _Stupid girl_ , thought Aquaria, _stupid stupid stupid_. She closed her eyes in horror, already feeling the embarrassment this would bring.

Except, instead of the hard floor, she was met with strong arms, locked in a firm grasp around her shoulders. A sweet, floral scent flooded her senses. Aquaria looked up. What greeted her were clear blue eyes and a gentle smile that widened when they made eye contact. The woman’s arms were a warm solid weight around Aquaria’s waist, circling around the curve of her back. She fought the urge to nuzzle into the woman’s soft blonde locks.

“Shit—I meant, sorry I didn’t mean to—my shoe straps kind of—“

“It’s no problem, baby,” the older woman laughed. “Don’t worry about it.” She rubbed a firm, reassuring circle into the back of Aquaria’s neck. 

Embarrassingly, Aquaria could feel a familiar heat shoot down her body and simmer low in her abdomen. Oh god. She didn’t even know the woman and here she was making Aquaria feel like a horny animal with just one touch. She quickly stepped back but kept in the circle of the woman’s embrace. 

“I’m Aquaria, by the way,” she offered and gave an awkward smile. “And you are…”

“Aquaria!” exclaimed the woman, stepping closer in excitement. “It’s nice to finally meet you!” The blonde smiled, her perfect winged eyes crinkling in the corners. “Your mom has told me so much about you.” Something in Aquaria’s chest twisted at the woman’s soft voice as she gently grasped Aquaria’s hands in her small calloused palms. “I’m Brianna Cracker.”

 _Oh_ , Aquaria thought, a cold wave of realization crashing into her body. _Fuck_. 

Right. Her mom was bringing home a girlfriend. Named Brianna. 

She felt like her skin was stretched too tight across her face, felt like her insides were wooden and hollow, her heart clamoring against the hard curve of her chest. In an effort to say something, she parted her lips, but nothing came out. Instead, she gave a rigid smile. 

“Cool.”

Brianna’s soft grin dimmed slightly at the cold response.

In an effort to escape the blonde’s magnet orbit, Aquaria broke her hold and took a few steps back. Brianna’s arms hung loosely at her side before she clasped them behind her back. 

Aquaria cleared her throat. “So, is my mom home or…”

Brianna blinked and shook her head subtly. “Yes, I forgot to tell you,” she replied. “We arrived earlier than expected and your mother was exhausted so she went up first. I’ll be staying here if that’s okay. I was supposed to stay with my sister Katelyn, but something came up with the apartment.”

Aquaria nodded in confirmation

“Good…good. I was planning on heading up soon myself. Did you need anything, Aqua?”

“I’m okay.” Aquaria willed the flush on her cheeks to go down and darted towards the stairs before she could embarrass herself further. “G’night.”

“Good night Aqua.”

Halfway up the stairs, Aquaria realized that she forgot to take off her sandals. She cursed silently. 

Brianna turned around with a questioning glance when Aquaria returned.

“I forgot to take these off,” explained Aquaria sheepishly, the troublesome shoes in her hand. 

Brianna soft smile returned. She laughed as Aquaria rushed to put them away and return up the stairs.

“Night again!” Aquaria called out, then bolted before she could hear Brianna’s response.

She paused in the hallway to her room and leaned against the wall, inhaling sharply.

God, she was screwed. 

—

Later that night, Aquaria crawled into to bed and tried to sleep. 

She rolled over in frustration when her mind kept returning to the older woman from earlier. 

Aquaria contemplated her meeting with Brianna. Ignoring Aquaria’s clumsiness and misplaced lust, the older woman did seem like a genuinely nice person. Perhaps her and Sharon could last this time, if Aquaria didn’t mess it up. Sharon tended to have a thing for blonde partners, but Brianna was different from the other reckless singers and performers that Sharon dated. Brianna was unnaturally pretty like the rest of them though. Long spidery lashes. Clear blue eyes. Plump pink lips. 

To her horror, Aquaria could feel her body perk up in interest.

_Stop it. She’s way out of your league, she’s taken, and she’s your mom’s girlfriend!_

For the next twenty minutes, Aquaria lied resolutely on the bed, forcing her body to sleep. It didn’t work.

Aquaria gave in. 

With her eyes squeezed shut, She reached down guiltily. 

_Don’t think about Brianna don’t think about Brianna don’t think about Brianna._

Her fingers slipped under the elastic of her shorts. The outside of her panties was already soaked through. Aquaria gritted her teeth and tried to imagine a tall muscled boy pinning her to the wall, slipping a hand under her shirt as he sucked a trail down her neck—

_“Baby, look at you. So pretty and wet for me. So good for me. Let me take care of you.”_

Aquaria whined, reaching a hand up to run her thumb against her nipple. They perked up and rubbed sensitively against the cotton of her shirt. Her other hand slipped in two fingers, her thumb thumb brushing against her swollen clit. Aquaria turned her head into the bed sheets to muffle her moan. She could imagine the the blonde leaning over her, hitching both legs up and pressing Aquaria into the bed. 

_“Beautiful. My beautiful beautiful girl. Look at you, soaking through your panties. Pretty girl.”_

She would hold Aquaria down and take care of everything she needed. 

With a soft sigh, Aquaria slipped another finger in and curled them up. She groaned in frustration when they failed to reach the spot she want. 

_Brianna could reach it_ , whispered a voice in Aquaria’s head. Brianna would move Aquaria’s clumsy fingers out of the way and curl her own firm digits in, twisting and pumping until Aquaria could see nothing but stars.

The familiar wave of heat and pleasure rose as Aquaria approached her peak. 

_“Come for me, Aqua.”_

Turning her head again to bite her bed covers, Aquaria tipped over the edge, arching her back as she twitched around her own fingers. Her body felt like a hot-wire, shooting heat from her curled toes all the way through to the top of her head. 

After the high faded away, Aquaria rolled to her side. A few desperate breaths shook her chest while she took a moment to come down. She stretched a hand out to grab a makeup wipe from her bed stand and clumsy wiped up the mess she made. Without bothering to look, she tossed it in the general direction of her waste-basket. Even with air conditioning, the summer heat made the bed sheets stick uncomfortably to her sensitive skin, so she tossed those off as well. 

Aquaria threw a hand over her eyes and groaned. She couldn’t remember the last time she came that hard. 

_Well that went great_ , Aquaria thought hysterically. Her only consolation was that she was one hundred percent sure that Brianna was not into her the same way. 

She reached out for her phone and squinted at the time.

_1:25 a.m._

She sighed.

Maybe another attempt at sleeping would help.


	2. II

“Ow, fuck. Aquaria, stop poking me with your damn needles,” complained Jordan. He shifted uncomfortably on the pedestal that Aquaria pulled out in the middle of the make-shift sewing setup in her garage. 

“It’s because you keep moving, Jordan. Just keep still for a few more minutes. I’m almost done.”

“Jesus, I agree to be your little fashion pet project every time you need me need me to. Every time!” Jordan threw his hands up in fake outrage and pouted down at her. Aquaria reached a hand out to hold his hip in place. “And this is how you repay me? I’m hurt.” 

Aquaria snorted. “And who drags your drunk ass back home every other week after you decide to down ten jello shots and five mixers like you aren’t a hundred pounds soaking wet?”

“Whatever, like you don’t do the same bitch,” countered Jordan, and they both laughed. 

Aquaria leaned over to pin down the waist of the red leather body-con currently on Jordan’s body. Taking the other pin from her mouth, she fastened it near Jordan’s chest, leaving three inches of ease where her own bust would be. She grabbed the white chalk by Jordan’s feet and marked a line that indicated where she wanted the hem. 

It was a quiet afternoon. The air outside seemed to pulsate from the scorching heat that accumulated in their neighborhood throughout the day. Luckily, there was a cool breeze blowing into the humid garage where Aquaria had spent the past half an hour working on the dress.

She gathered her hair and quickly clipped it back before continuing to work.

From the house, faint sounds from the kitchen could be heard. 

It’d been over a week since her mom and Brianna came home, and things around the house were…pretty awkward to say the least. Every since that first night, Aquaria had tried her hardest to avoid the blonde woman. She was never good with her words, and being around Brianna made her feel even younger than her eighteen years of age. Whenever Brianna came into the room, all Aquaria wanted to do is wrap herself in the woman’s embrace—like before—and tell her how lovely she was, how Aquaria wanted to simultaneously kiss her and cuddle with her at the same time. 

Instead, in her attempts to stop herself from messing things up— _remember, mom’s girlfriend, don’t want to ruin everything right_ her brain whispered treacherously—Aquaria accidentally came off as cold and standoffish to Brianna. She concealed her feelings of want in a mask of hostility and nonchalance so that maybe, if everyone else believed it to be true, she could convince herself as well. 

It didn’t help that Brianna was still incredibly warm towards her. Despite Aquaria’s cool demeanor, the older woman continued to try get to know her. During the hours before she left to run the nightclub she owned with her sister in town, she would check on Aquaria when she was at home. If Aquaria didn’t go out to grab lunch or shop with her friends, it would only be the two of them since Sharon usually left to meet with her music producers in the morning.

Aquaria didn’t know how much longer she could resist doing something, even with the thought of her mom holding her back.

There was a click and Aquaria heard the door open behind her.

“Okay Aquaria, it’s time for lunch!” 

She turned around and was greeted by the full glory that was Brianna Cracker in a figure-hugging summer dress and a pink apron tied around her thin waist, which only eventuated her curves. The dress cut into a low v, giving a glimpse of her ample breasts. 

Aquaria blushed. 

There was a part of her that longed to reach out and touch, just for a moment, to see how sensitive they are, to see if it would please Brianna and she would whisper how Aquaria was _such a good girl for_ —

Guilt clogged Aquaria’s throat.

“I’m not—I’m busy right now. And I’m not hungry,” she stuttered. 

“It’s fine. I’ll leave some on the counter for your friend.”

Aquaria ignored Jordan’s inquiring glance and made a noise of affirmation, keeping her eyes stubbornly on the seam in front of her.

Jordan shifted on the pedestal and said, “I’ll take some. I’m Jordan by the way.” 

“Brianna. Pleased to meet you.”

Brianna walked over and it was only then that Aquaria realized that she was holding a plate of sandwiches. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you sewed, Aquaria. This piece is beautiful. It really is.”

“Thanks,” Aquaria bit out. The compliment pleased her and she struggled to keep it from showing on her face. “It’s not much...something quick I threw together.”

“Have you always liked to make your own clothes?” she asked.

Aquaria could feel the heat of Brianna’s presence on her skin like a blanket that was both too hot and not enough. “Y-yeah…for a while.”

“You’ll be studying in New York in the fall right?” she asked. “I would love it if you could show me some more of pieces some time. I’ll be around.” Brianna squatted down beside her and carefully ran her hand down the dress “This leather dress is really something.”

“Oh—um…thank you…I’m glad you like it. So. Thanks.”

Jordan shook as he attempted to hold down a laugh. 

Aquaria glared at him. 

He ignored her and wiggled his eye brows.

“I really mean it.” A hand brushed against her arm and It tingled at the sensation. “Anyways, I’ll be heading out soon for work so give me a heads up if you kids need anything.” 

“And it was nice meeting you, Jordan.”

Jordan coughed and gave Aquaria a pointed look before replying, “Same.”

From behind, Aquaria heard a series of clacks as Brianna walked away.

“Bye Brianna!” returned Jordan. He smirked at Aquaria. 

That traitor. 

After the door shut, Jordan ducked down and stopped Aquaria from working on the dress. “What the hell, Aquaria? What was that?” 

“Nothing.” The statement sounded shaky, like it was a lie, even to Aquaria herself. 

“You have a thing Miss Polly Pocket over there don’t you?”

Aquaria shook her head stubbornly. 

“N—no. I don’t know what you’re talking about right now, girl.”

“I knew it!” exclaimed Jordan. “You always get all stuttery and awkward around someone you think is cute.”

“There’s nothing going on between Brianna and I, Jordan. Anyways, it’s not like she’d want to be with someone like me anyways.”

Jordan blinked at her. Then a look of comprehension lit up his face and his features softened. 

“Wait. Do you actually like her?”

Aquaria’s heart stuttered. “Of course not.”

Jordan raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

She ducked her head down. “Maybe just a little.” 

The boy sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. 

“Girl...”

“I know I know.”

“Okay, Aquaria, you know in any other situation, I would support you serving sugar baby realness, but the fact that she’s dating your mom...I love you but that is not smart,” he reasoned, “and as much as I would support the two of you, this would end up very _very_ badly.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Aquaria’s voice cracked at the end. She was reminded of it all the time: when she woke up in the morning to their loud laughter in the kitchen, times when Sharon seemed to spend hours gushing about how lovely the other woman was, or during the long dinners where Aquaria kept silent, fighting the urge to spend the entire meal watching Brianna. “Just drop it. Please Jordan.”

Aquaria could feel him staring at her. 

There was another sigh as Jordan reached out a hand to pat her head. 

“Okay bitch. I’ll drop it. I’m sorry for pushing this, just…talk to me when you’re ready, kay?”

Relief flooded in Aquaria and she smiled gratefully up at Jordan. 

“Wait.” Aquaria paused. “Sugar baby? Bitch, I’m not a sugar baby. I can built myself from the ground up without no—“

Jordan cackled at her, throwing his head back.

Aquaria rolled her eyes, a smile on her lips. “I hate you.”

“So…” said Jordan, picking at the dress, “When are you going to finish this damn thing so I can get it off?”

-

_A couple days later..._

An old rerun of America’s Next Top Model played with a muted hum in the background. Aquaria scrolled half-heartedly at her phone, glancing at the likes on the photo she posted earlier. It was almost midnight, but there were too many thoughts swirling around in her brain, banging at her skull until she gave in and padded downstairs in her worn night slippers to find a distraction, something to clear her mind, and maybe a Tylenol for her headache. 

Just a little more than month. Then she could leave this small town. And also Brianna. Because if Aquaria left, she could forget about the older woman and all the ways her mere presence had left a unsettling indent on her life.

There was a distinct click behind her and Brianna stepped through the door.

Speaking of the devil. Or angel in Brianna’s case because she looked out-worldly even after a night of work. Clearly, nobody was born equal in this world. Aquaria looked down and fiddled with the ratty scoop-necked tank top and old rolled up gym shorts she had on. And here she was, looking like used rag next to the older woman.

“Aquaria. You’re still up.” 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Aquaria replied, keeping her eyes on her phone. 

Brianna walked up behind the sofa and asked, “Is it okay if I join you here?”

“’S fine.” 

Aquaria shifted and tucked her feet under her legs to let Brianna sit next to her. Not looking over at Brianna was almost unbearable because every atom in her body yearned to reach out and burrow herself into the older woman’s arms. 

Brianna cleared her throat.

“I just wanted to take a moment to talk with you.” She shifted closer and grasped Aquaria’s hand. “I feel like you don’t really like me Aqua, and that’s absolutely fine. Really. But I wanted to clear the air between us and ask if it was anything I did, because if I did do something wrong I want to apologize—“

“No—no of course I like you—I mean, I’m not mad at you. At all. It’s me. I was just going through a few things these past two weeks, but I’m good. Now. Sorry, if you thought I didn’t like you or something.” 

Aquaria felt _horrible_. She was so distracted by her own inner turmoil that she didn’t realize how she was making Brianna feel. Of course, she always messed everything up. 

The older woman wrapped an arm around Aquaria and pulled her closer. Aquaria’s cheeks flushed at the close proximity. “Hey, hey, no need to apologize sweetheart.” 

A soft feeling of warmth bloomed in her chest and she wanted to preen at the endearment.

Brianna continued, “I’m glad that everything’s okay between us.” She squeezed Aquaria’s hand in emphasis. “The thought of accidentally offending or hurting you had been bothering me for a while.”

Aquaria turned to thank the woman, maybe tell her how much what she said meant or how Aquaria was so grateful that she understood. But everything skidded to a stop when their gazes connected. Brianna was so so close Aquaria could see small flecks of green in her light blue eyes, and whatever Aquaria planned to say got caught in her throat. Out of all her features, Aquaria loved Brianna’s eyes the most. They were always so expressive and warm, and when Aquaria talked, they looked at her like nothing else in the room mattered. 

Brianna’s eyes dilated, probably because of the dark, the blue rings around her pupils thinning until her eyes looked like dark black pools. 

Her lips parted. Aquaria immediately tracked the movement. 

A searing pool of desire simmered in her stomach and all the blood her body rushed south. She held back a whimper when Brianna reached a hand out to pull her hair back, settling it with a steady grip on the back of her neck. The moment seemed to stretch on for an eon, although it probably lasted a few seconds in reality.

It almost looked like Brianna was leaning closer. 

Aquaria’s eyes fluttered shut. 

“Honey, is that you—oh, both of you are up.”

Aquaria snapped her eyes open. 

Brianna was suddenly a foot away from her body and it took Aquaria several seconds to realize why.

“Sharon. I was taking a moment to talk a little with Aquaria. We’re just about done.”

Sharon stood in the hall way, the bright light illuminated her black night dress in a warm glow. She walked into the room and gave both of them smiles. “It’s getting late. Both of you should get some sleep.” Sharon’s face was radiant as she bent down and pecked Brianna on the cheek. She leaned over and kissed the top of Aquaria’s head as well. “I’ll see you in the morning, darling.”

Aquaria bit her lip, looking down as the two of them made their way upstairs.

An ugly acidic feeling curdled in Aquaria’s stomach and her chest twinged when she sucked in a breath.

It _hurt_ seeing them together. It never felt like this before, not with her other crushes. Aquaria dreaded seeing them together in a room. Every time she turned a corner; she would automatically duck away if she saw them sharing wine in the kitchen, or sitting together with ducked heads, talking softly on the couch. At the same time, she dreaded the thought of the two finding out about her pathetic little crush. Her mom wouldn’t be mad. Neither would Brianna. The blonde would simply look down at Aquaria with pity in her eyes and say, _“I’m not surprised. Don’t worry about it sweetheart. It’s cute actually. I’m flattered.”_

Before she left, Brianna brushed her shoulder and squeezed it briefly before letting go. 

The tv in front of her continued to play, leaving long shadows on the now almost empty sofa.

“Good night,” Aquaria mumbled to the empty room.

—

The afternoon of Blair’s party, Aquaria searched through her closet for the perfect dress. 

_No, too short. Not enough skin showing. Okay, way too much._

Aquaria groaned and sat back on her bed.

This kind of stuff came naturally to her: the matching of colors, the understanding of what looked good on her body and made the boys want to eat her up. 

Now, her mind felt out-of-sorts. 

Her eyes drifted to the corner and took in the unfinished red dress draped over her chair.

Perfect! Aquaria walked over and held it to her body. Sure, it wasn’t finished, but she could pull it off: make it into a skirt and throw on a matching top. No one would be able to look away at the party. 

It took over an hour, but Aquaria managed to adjust the dress and find a belted bandeau as a top. 

She slipped the two pieces of clothing on. 

Aquaria looked _good_. The red leather skirt fit perfectly around her slim waist and clung tightly to the swell of her hips. Her stomach was smooth and lightly muscled, her torso elongated from the thick leather belt-like bandeau wrapped around her chest, pushing the little cleavage she had together. 

Grabbing a fluffy brush, she lightly dabbed some highlighter on her collarbones, the tops of her shoulders, and after a moment of hesitation, the tops of her breasts.

“Perfect.”

Now, to work on her face.

—  
_Later that night..._

“Aquaria, what are you wearing?”

Aquaria was about to open the door when Sharon stopped her in her tracks.

“It’s for the party I’m going to,” she replied.

“Party?”

Her mom straightened up from where she was perched on the kitchen table, a glass of wine in her right hand.

Aquaria shut the door. “Yeah, it’s at my friend Blair’s house,” she answered. “I’ll be back before eleven.” 

“Okay, when did I say yes to this? I don’t want you out getting drunk and making bad decisions, and I’m speaking from personal experience.”

“What? Mom. You can’t just come in after two months and…mom I—“

“No,” stated Sharon. She put her hands on her hips. “Aquaria, you’re not going and that’s final. You have all the time to party in college, but right now I want you at home.”

Frustration bubbled up in Aquaria’s chest. What right did Sharon have suddenly coming home and deciding to finally play her role as a parent? And Aquaria was already eighteen! She could make her own decisions. 

Clearly, her mom didn’t agree from the way her face began to flush red, like she dared Aquaria to say no again.

“Whatever,” Aquaria muttered. “Fine.”

She walked angrily to her room and pulled out her phone. 

**Aquaria 7:05 p.m:** sharon won’t let me go :/

 **Jordan 7:08 p.m:** ??? 

**Aquaria 7:09 p.m:** yea I guess you have to go yourself then

 **Aquaria 7:09 p.m:** sorry

 **Jordan 7:15 p.m:** bitch

 **Jordan 7:15 p.m:** no

 **Jordan 7:18 p.m:** climb down your window I’m coming to get you

Immediately, her phone lit up from a call from Jordan.

“Bitch I’m coming. Get down from your room and I’ll take care of it from there.”

“My mom will kill me if she finds out,” Aquaria exclaimed, “And how the hell do I even get down anyways?”

Jordan sighed, like jumping from the second floor was something everyone did all the time. She could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “Girl it’s easy, I’ve done it before. Just climb across the branch near your room and swing down. It’s not that hard anyways. I’ll drive near your house. Meet me down the street.”

He hung up before she could reply.

Aquaria opened her windows and looked down. 

She gulped.

Her second floor window was about ten feet off the ground. It could’ve been worse, but Aquaria was never very fond of heights and this was stretching her limits. 

Aquaria sucked in a breath and steeled herself. She could do this. Of course she could. She was Aquaria. 

She opened the window and carefully stuck a stilleto-clad foot out, then another. 

“C’mon, Aquaria. You can do this. It’s not that far down,” she reassured herself. The tip of her heel skidded against a roof tile and Aquaria squeaked. She took another breath and stepped out. Bowing over the roof of her house was the branch that Jordan had been talking about. With careful steps, Aquaria slowly walked over and perched on it, before swinging down.

She shrieked and closed her eyes in fear. 

The entire world lurched as her body flew towards the ground.

Her feet touched the grass. 

Aquaria puffed out a breathless laugh. She actually did it.

After taking few minutes to calm down, Aquaria walked down the street toward Jordan’s house and continued until she saw his familiar white car.

“I did it! I made it down the tree,” exclaimed Aquaria as she pulled open the door, almost slamming it against her neighbor’s mailbox in excitement.

“Bitch, I knew you could. Now, let’s go. The party already started.”

Aquaria smiled at him, still breathless from her escape.

“Yeah, lets go.”

-

“Tequila shots! Tequila shots!”

A crowd of wasted girls screamed from behind her as they chanted the two words over and over again.

Aquaria ignored it and continued to sway along to the beat of Rihanna playing in the background. 

Sometime throughout the night, Aquaria had lost Jordan among the cluster of sweaty people in the house. They had met up with Blair first and had a drink together. The blonde looked beautiful in her white lace dress and they took a few moments to catch up. Jordan had broken off to leave for the dance floor. She wasn’t worried, seeing as the last time she saw him, he was sucking the face of a tall muscled red-head who suspiciously looked like their old school’s very straight quarterback.

Suddenly, there were hands gripping her hips and a wall of warmth against her back. 

Aquaria turned around.

The boy grinding up behind her was pretty and blonde like a stereotypical Ken doll, hair slicked up with gel and a tight navy shirt stretched across his muscled chest. His blue eyes looked hungrily at her, flicking up and down her body. 

_Brianna’s eyes are prettier_ , she thought automatically, then shook her head. No. She was here tonight to forget Brianna, to let loose and erase the older woman from her brain. There was no point in dwelling in impossibilities and getting hung up on a taken woman—taken by her mom no less—like a desperate teenager. Which, Aquaria admittedly was, but that was not the point here.

She grinned up and him, looking up through her lashes as she bit her lower lips. 

His eyes followed the movement. “You’re pretty fucking hot.” The boy tightened his grip on her hips.

“I know,” said Aquaria.

“Confident. I like that.” 

Some girls behind her screamed again about tequila shots and Aquaria raised an eyebrow in question. 

Not-Brianna gave a sharp smile before tugging Aquaria toward the crowd.

After downing a toxic concoction of multiple tequila and whiskey shots, she was dragged by Human Ken Doll out of the house and into his flashy black Porsche. They were making out in the back of the guy’s car— _Jake? Richard? He looks like a Richard_ —and door was pressing uncomfortably against her shoulders as he shoved his tongue into her mouth.

She stared up at the ceiling when he broke off and clumsily sucked a hickey on her neck, fighting the urge to pull away.

“You’re so hot babe. I bet you’re so wet right now, huh?” the boy slurred. Aquaria could smell his sour breath from where he panted against her throat. “I’m gonna make you come so hard.”

He leaned up and latched his thin lips roughly onto her’s again. They were sloppy and wet: the kind a wet that made Aquaria want to wash her mouth out with soap. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t getting any of the usual thrills of making out with pretty boys. Aquaria had been to countless parties that resulted in her making out in the backseat of a cat or in the stall of a club’s bathroom, and she had felt fine. 

All she felt now was cold. And dirty.

She pulled the boy off her neck. 

“Actually, sorry I don’t really want to do this.”

“What the hell?” he exclaimed.

“It’s because—I think that—I’m sorry I have to go” Aquaria smiled apologetically and moved to open the door. 

The boy shifted in front of her. “Hey c’mon, don’t go. We were having fun.”

He grabbed both of Aquaria’s forearms, fingers digging painfully into her pale flesh. Fear struck her body and her heart rabbited against her throat as he dug in deeper and pulled her in. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want any of this. All Aquaria wanted was to be back home again under the safety of her own covers. Brianna would come end and kiss her forehead and tell her that everything was okay—

She wrenched her arms away. 

“Don’t touch me,” she gritted out and jerked the door open. 

A blast of cool air made her woozy and it took her a second to steady her feet when she clambered out.

“Dude, what’s your proble—“

The door slammed shut with a bang. 

Aquaria ran.

-

The phone fumbled in Aquaria’s hand. It took three tries before she could punch in Jordan’s number correctly. 

“Hi, you’ve reach the mailbox of me, Jordan Stawecki, and—“

Aquaria hung up in frustration. She looked around at her surroundings. There were rows of similar white suburban houses with well-kept lawns and little mismatched garden statues, the windows dark and ominous as the houses stretched far into the distance. 

She desperately tried a couple more numbers.

“You’ve reached the number of—“

“Hey girl, Blair here. Sorry I’m not at my phone right now I’m probably—“

Aquaria groaned and hung up again. She stared at her phone. If she tried to call her mom, she would be furious at her, both for sneaking out and going to the party. 

For a few minutes, Aquaria contemplated walking home. Aquaria had walked with heels far taller than the ones she was wearing now. The night she was crowned prom queen, Aquaria partied from ten at night to six in the morning and walked house to house in six-inch Louboutin stilettos without taking them off once. Plus, she was pretty much considered a superstar among her peers. This was nothing. 

She exhaled quickly and stood up. 

Then promptly tripped over the curb.

Aquaria muffled a shriek as hit the ground. Her surroundings twisted as the world spun in sickening circles and Aquaria forced down the urge to throw up. There was a moment where she just lied there, looking helplessly up into the pitch black sky and fought the urge to cry. Her throat tightened and her eyes began tear up. 

_Dammit._

Her phone rung as she reluctantly called her mom.

“Hello?”

Aquaria sniffled. “I’m sorry m-mommy? I’m s-so sorry but can you please c-come get me?”

“Aquaria?” 

It took Aquaria several seconds to realize that it was not her mom but Brianna’s voice coming out of the phone. For some reason, it made the knot in her chest tighten further.

“O-oh I didn’t meant to call—I just needed my mom to get me. It’s o-okay, I can try find someone else—“

“Shh, it’s okay baby. Your mom is upstairs sleeping right now, but I can come get you. What happened? Are you hurt? Where are you right now?” Her voice was like melted chocolate the her ears. Aquaria calmed down slightly. 

“I’m fine—I went to the party—I know mom didn’t…I d-don’t know.” said Aquaria, her mouth a jumbled mess as she tried to pull her thoughts together. “I can try to use my phone and send you my location?”

“That’s fine, Aqua.”

Aquaria clumsily sent the location and Brianna just said, “Hold on baby, I’m coming for you.”

By the time the familiar black g-wagon pulled up in front of her, Aquaria’s tears had left black tracks down her cheeks and she had dozed off from a sudden wave of exhaustion. 

Gentle fingers brushed her hair back. “Aquaria? Sweetheart, it’s me Brianna.” Something warm covered her back.

The next thing she knew, Aquaria opened her bleary eyes and saw Brianna with one hand on the steering wheel, the other rubbing soothing circles into her back. Brianna looked over at her and noticed she was awake.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling,” she whispered.

“Like crap,” Aquaria mumbled. 

Brianna’s finger’s dug in a little deeper where they were massaging Aquaria. Aquaria sighed in contentment. “Hold on. We’re almost home. I’ll wake you up when we get there.” 

—

When they reached the house, Brianna put Aquaria’s arm around her shoulder and half carried the drunk girl to the house. Aquaria could feel the strong muscles under her arms and reached out to touch them. 

“Briaaaannaaaaaa.” Aquaria giggled. “Brianna. Bri. Ana. Cracker. Cracks.” 

Brianna laughed at her with an endeared smile. When they tried to go over the door step, Aquaria tripped again over her stilettos, this time reminiscent of the first day they met. Brianna looked at her and said, “Oh, Aquaria,” her eye crinkles evident in the dull overhead light. She then looped her other arm around Aquaria’s long legs and lifted her up effortlessly. Aquaria giggled and tried to smooth out the the smile lines by Brianna’s mouth. 

She continued to touch Brianna’s face even after Brianna said a half-hearted, “Stop, Aqua,” which was softened by her amused expression.

“Why are you so nice to me,” Aquaria mumbled. “I was so mean to you.” The dark-haired girl tilted her head back and looked up at the woman from under her lashes. “Why don’t you hate me?”

There was a pinched look on Brianna’s face. Aquaria wanted to kiss it away. 

“Hate you?”

“Yeaaah. I was such a bitch.” Aquaria frowned. “But I didn’t mean it. I just never knew what to say around you. You should hate me.”

The arms around Aquaria tightened momentarily. Brianna looked at Aquaria, but the darkness made her expression almost indistinguishable. Her features were softened from a lack of makeup, but Aquaria thought she looked more gorgeous than Aquaria has any day, even with make up. Just the sight of the blonde made a sense of delirious happiness bloom in her chest. 

When Aquaria was twelve years old, her mom bought her her first sewing kit. At the time, they were still living in their broken down single bedroom apartment, where their shower only had hot water every other day and their heater never worked, so Sharon would bundle her in layers of old blankets come wintertime. For months, she begged Sharon to buy her a sewing kit after becoming mesmerized by the sleek, structured outfits in the many Vogue magazines she’d collected over the years. She could still remember the wave of happiness that overwhelmed her when Sharon handed her the small clear box, the same feeling that filled her chest every time she brought one of her own designs to life these days. 

Now, held in the steadfast arms of the older woman, she felt the same all-encompassing joy. Brianna presence was like a drug that she never wanted to quit. She probably should’ve been alarmed at the realization, but all she did was tuck her head into the crook of Brianna’s neck and block out the rest of the world.

Aquaria was so lost in her thoughts that she missed the quiet whispered, “I could never hate you Aquaria.” 

By the time they reached the second floor, Aquaria was back to lightly poking and prodding the blonde’s face.

Brianna was about to release Aquaria onto her bed, when Aquaria accidentally slipped a finger in Brianna’s mouth. 

She made a noise of surprise, but her lips parted automatically. Aquaria sunk her finger into the wet heat of her mouth. The other woman’s hooded eyes were pitch back: deep bottomless pools framed by her long thick lashes. There were faint smudges of eyeliner under Brianna’s eyes, but Aquaria thought Brianna had never looked more beautiful. Soft velvet heat briefly enveloped Aquaria’s thumb when Brianna’s tongue touched the pad of her finger. 

A quiet pop resonated through the silent room as Aquaria pulled her finger out and brushed Brianna’s bottom lip. She couldn’t stop staring at her pink lips, and Aquaria was drunk enough that it looked like Brianna was staring at hers as well.

In the back of her mind, there were warning bells and a voice screaming _nononono, stop this right now _, but the alcohol in her veins burned everything away until the only thing she could think of was the beautiful older woman holding Aquaria in her arms at that very moment.__

____

____

Brianna blinked and seemed to snap out of a trance. She put Aquaria down abruptly, but kept a firm arm around her waist to make sure she didn’t fall over.

“It’s getting late, Aqua. I guess I’ll—“

But Brianna never got to finish her sentence because Aquaria closed the last few inches between them and kissed her.

 _Oh_ , Aquaria thought, _so this is what it’s supposed to feel like_. Not like the thin bitting lips of the boy from the party earlier. Not like her first kiss with Jack Porter in the boy’s baseball team locker room freshman year, or the one with her first boyfriend in the back of his car. Because even with the whisky numbing her senses, her entire body tingled, her heart thumping a millions miles against her chest. Brianna’s lips were still, but the smooth hot slide against her own electrified every nerve ending in her body.

Aquaria had never felt more alive.

Brianna broke their kiss but kept their foreheads pressed together. A thin trail of saliva momentarily connected their lips before breaking away. Aquaria watched with her chest heaving, gulping in much needed air. The older woman’s eyes were shut, her puffy lips parted. A small crease indented the space between her meticulously drawn eyebrows.

“Aqua, what are you doing?” whispered Brianna. Her face was close enough that Aquaria could make out almost every individual lash. 

“I don’t know. I just needed—Bri.”

Brianna took a shaky breath. “Baby, you’re drunk.”

“I don’t care. It doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not that drunk.” Aquaria frowned and tried to tug Brianna closer. It didn’t matter anyways. She would still kiss Brianna sober.”

“I can’t take advantage of you like this. And you understand why we can’t.”

“I know I know, but—“

“Aquaria.” 

“Just listen to me please—“

“ _Aquaria_.”

Aquaria grasped Brianna’s wrists. “Please.” 

The blonde paused, her eyebrows scrunching like she was in pain. After a moment, she shook her head and moved to detach herself from Aquaria.

There was still leftover alcohol rushing through her blood and she couldn’t see shit in the dark, but she didn’t care. Aquaria took a gamble that she never would’ve had the courage to do in the daytime. She leaned in and kissed Brianna again.

For a few blissful moments, Brianna kissed her back. 

Her lips were soft and firm against Aquaria’s, parting automatically when Aquaria slipped in her tongue, into the slick burning heat of Brianna’s mouth. The press of lips made Aquaria moan and begin to soak through her thin black thong.

Then Brianna took control.

With a firm grip on the back of Aquaria’s neck, Brianna pulled her in and pushed Aquaria into the wall behind her. Her tongue slid against Aquaria’s and traced the seam of her lips, coaxing it open and licking hotly into Aquaria’s mouth. Aquaria whimpered and clawed weakly at Brianna’s back, trying to draw the woman toward her. 

Brianna slid one hand up and pressed down _hard_ into the base of her neck.

A fissure of pleasure raced down her body to her lower abdomen and Aquaria whined, pressing closer closer closer to the softness of Brianna’s chest. Brianna released a low moan in return, nudging a leg between Aquaria’s trembling thighs. Aquaria couldn’t help but grind down hard, crying out as Brianna’s thigh rubbed just right against her soaking wetness. She felt almost dizzy with pleasure, could feel Brianna’s quiet groan reverberating through where her breasts pressed hotly in Aquaria’s. Aquaria’s nipples hardened from the stimulation and she reached to place one of Brianna’s hands on her breast—

Brianna pulled away. 

Her entire body suddenly felt cold. Aquaria couldn’t help but let out a quiet whimper from the loss.

Brianna muttered something under her breath and took another step back. “Aqua—I—you’re drunk. I’m taking advantage of you and we can’t. We can’t be doing this,” she pleaded. The older woman’s cheeks were flushed, chest rising and falling heavily. Her shoulders heaved as she panted, “I shouldn’t be doing this, especially when your mother and I...”

Aquaria gritted her teeth. Fuck. She knew. She knew, but Brianna was warm and present in front of her and she would kiss her again without hesitation, despite the consequences. “I know and—“

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this to you or your mother.” 

Aquaria could feel the blonde’s burning gaze on her face. 

“Aquaria, you deserve so much more and you can’t even think straight right now and I—I’m sorry.” Brianna smiled stiffly. “We can forget that this happened, okay? And don’t worry about anything that happened tonight. I won’t tell your mother if you really don’t want me too. I still think that you should talk to her though.”

Brianna patted Aquaria’s shoulder and quickly stepped back. Her hands looked like they’re trembling where they’re held in front of her, but Aquaria blinked and they were gone, clasped behind her back. 

“I’m here for you too. I still care about you. What happened tonight…it won’t affect anything between us. Okay, Aquaria? Talk to me if you need anything. Please.”

Leaning against the wall, Aquaria gave a sharp nod and turned her head, refusing to look at Brianna, even when she could hear the padding of her feet as she started to walk away. Fuck, she was probably just trying to let Aquaria down easy. What was she thinking, trying to kiss her mom’s girlfriend? And what did she have to offer that her mom didn’t? 

Nothing.

Just as Brianna was about leave the room, Aquaria reached a hand out and tried to—she didn’t know. Tried to tell Brianna that what just happened meant ~~everything~~ nothing? Or to tell her to come back and _won’t you please stay?_

But it was too late.

The door clicked close. 

Aquaria slid down to the floor.

She clenched her jaw at the hot prickling in her eyes and rubbed them callously. No. She wouldn’t cry over something like this, especially when Brianna seemed entirely unaffected afterward.

Aquaria stood up and roughly pulled off the tight outfit she had on. 

By now, the alcohol had burned through her body and all she felt was empty.

In the distance, Aquaria could hear the muted click of a door. 

_Stupid. It’s not like Brianna cares anyways. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support for the first chapter ^^ I hope you guys enjoyed this new one. 
> 
> A kudos or comment would be loved.


	3. III

_Brianna_

Brianna Cracker valued control.

Growing up with nothing, she learned that everything required it. 

At five years old, control meant an empty stomach at night so that there was something to go around in the morning.

When she was twelve, she started taking karate lessons to gain control of her body and make sure no one else ever did.

These days, she maintained a careful control over her life. Brianna rarely made rash decisions. She didn't drink. She did smoke—a nasty habit that rubbed off on her from the other girls when she worked the graveyard shift at the bar in her twenties—but only when her anxiety decided to rear it’s ugly head and convince her that the whole goddamn world was ending.

Which was why she was standing on the porch at 4:00 a.m., blowing smoke rings into the warm morning air. Her hands had finally steadied two cigarettes in, but her mind refused to calm down, twisting and turning every interaction, analyzing all the maybes and could have beens until all that was left was what they truly were: empty useless thoughts.

The house was silent, asleep like the people enclosed inside.

Brianna blew out another smoke circle and stubbed the cigarette.

Her lips still tingled where the sensation of soft phantom lips made her chest tighten in a way Brianna carefully ignored, because acknowledgement was a rabbit hole that led to temptation and regret, and falling was not an option.

_How much older are you again? Just over a decade? And who are you dating? Oh, that’s right, not Aquaria that’s for sure._

The thing was, Brianna cared for Sharon. That wasn’t a question. She could still remember the first night she met Sharon at her New York bar, where the short-haired woman cheekily bought her a blowjob shot and impressed Brianna with her confidence. Sharon could fill her with laughter like a light that she flicked on effortlessly with her wit and sarcasm.

But if Sharon was the light, Aquaria was the whole damn sun.

There was something about the girl that pulled her in, made it hard for her to look away even if it hurt sometimes.

Her stomach clenched at the thought of Aquaria’s whisper soft touches last night, her fingers clutching desperately at Brianna’s back. 

Maybe it had started then. Maybe it had started the moment the younger girl looked up with her whisky-brown eyes and smeared red lips and begged Brianna _please please please,_ her voice cracking with drunken honesty, long fingers clammy but sure around Brianna’s arms. Soft midnight locks had tickled the tops of Brianna's forearms, hair that was slightly tousled from the younger girl’s night out. The thought of another person running their hands through Aquaria’s carefully straightened hair had left a bitter taste in the back of Brianna’s throat.

Or maybe it was the very first day Aquaria came falling into her arms with her endearing awkwardness, pulling Brianna into her orbit. At the time, all Brianna knew was that she felt a strong sense of responsibility for the girl. That urge to care for Aquaria however evolved with each passing moment, even when she had initially thought that the younger girl hated her. 

It was one of those things that caught her out of nowhere, like someone tilted her chair back and she had yet to hit the ground. But the ground was still there and ever present on the back of Brianna’s mind and she needed to remind herself constantly of its existence. Brianna wasn’t stupid. She knew that it was her responsibility to say no. Aquaria had kissed her first, but she should’ve stopped right there. Yet, she didn't because kissing the younger girl had scrambled her thoughts, made all her values fly out the window. It was intoxicating: every breath, every moan, every response to her touches lit something inside Brianna, made her hungry for more, made her want to make Aquaria hers and—

Brianna would take everything and suck her dry. She would ruin her. And she couldn’t do that to Aquaria.

There was a faint tremor in her fingers.

_Dammit Cracker. Get yourself together!_

She gripped her hands tightly on the railing.

She could do this. She had more self-control than this. All she needed to do was interact as little as possible with the younger girl and give herself time to control herself, to not mess everything up. 

Easy. Completely doable. 

By the time Brianna surfaced from thoughts, the sun had already risen high enough to cast a warm shadow over the entire neighborhood.

Brianna cleaned up the cigarette ashes and walked back into the house to start making breakfast.

After years of watching the chefs at the diner, Brianna had for figured out to cook on her own. It soothed her, helped to stop the constant scrutinization from her brain. The skillet sizzled as she drizzled oil on it and threw in the chopped vegetables and eggs she mixed together. She sprinkled pinches of seasoning and shredded cheddar, then used a wooden paddle to keep the edges of the bubbling omelette from burning. On another counter, the waffle maker worked silently, beeping quietly when it finished.

Brianna could hear Sharon’s heavy footballs as she descended the stairs and sidled up beside her.

“Thanks for making breakfast babe,” said Sharon, kissing her on the cheek.

Brianna smiled. “It’s really no problem. You know I like doing it.”

“I really don’t know what I’d do without you. I’d be a mess,” laughed Sharon. She nudged Brianna’s shoulder. “You’ve been so helpful these past few days, especially with Aquaria. I feel bad leaving so early each day, but I’m glad that I can depend on you to take care of her. I haven’t always been…the greatest parent and it makes me happy that you’re willing to be help out as well Brianna.”

Brianna swallowed. She gripped the griddle’s handle.

_Can you see the imprint of her lips? Can you tell how fucked up I am for dating you and kissing your daughter at the same time?_

“Of course. Anytime.”

“Love you, babe.” Sharon pecked her on the cheek again and walked over to the coffee machine to start a pot.

Brianna gave a brittle smile, looking away from Sharon. “Love you too.”

A minute later, Aquaria popped around the corner, arching her back as she yawned and made her way to the dining table. Her grey tank top clung to her slender figure, hanging loosely over a pair of shorts that showed her long slim legs that seemed stretch on for miles. There were slight bags under her eyes, her face bare but beautiful, and so very young.

Plating the last of the waffles, Brianna inhaled sharply. She could do this. 

“Morning Aquaria,” she said, making sure there was a bright, very natural smile on her face. “I made you some waffles. There’s fruit in the fridge as well if you wanted any.” She slid the plate in front of Aquaria. 

The younger girl’s gaze snapped up to hers. “Oh—um…thanks. I like eating them. The waffles,” she stuttered. She glanced at the waffles. “Good, looks yum. I mean, yum, it looks good..” She tucked her hands under her thighs and looked pointedly at the plate in front of her, her cheeks flushing pink. 

“Great. That’s…great,” Brianna answered, promptly looking away and grabbing the omelettes.

“Thanks again.” Aquaria shoved a piece of waffle in her mouth and pulled out her phone with her other hand.

Sharon watched the entire interaction with a mix of amusement and confusion.

“Before I forget,” said Sharon, “I want to talk about what happened yesterday. 

Brianna froze. Could she tell? Could she see the guilt on their faces, the hesitancy to their movements? 

Apparently they dodged a massive bullet because Sharon said, “I hate being that parent—and I know you’re frustrated Aqua. I may have overacted slightly yesterday. I promise that I’ll be more relaxed about everything from now on. I know that you can take care of yourself, but I can’t help but worry sometimes honey. 

The younger girl stilled in her movements, but slowly relaxed as her mother went on. “It’s fine. ’S my fault for acting like a brat about it.” They smiled at each other, a comfortable silence filling the room as they finished eating.

“Well. I’m heading off to work now. I’ll leave you two here for the day.” She kissed both of them, Brianna on the mouth and Aquaria on the head, then grabbed her keys. “Text me if you two need anything.”

“Have a good day.”

“Bye mom.”

The door slammed shut with an air of finality.

There was a pause as the two avoided the elephant in the room. She certainly felt like an elephant: her movements stiff and stilted, each step landing heavily in the silent room.

Brianna put her plate away and sat down in front of Aquaria.

“Aqua, about last—“

“Okay, let’s just—"

They both stopped before Aquaria motioned for her to continue. 

“About last night, just…don’t worry about it. You were drunk and I know you kids these days are wiling to try new things and have fun and—I understand. We can pretend that it never happened. I won’t treat you any differently than before. And I’m sorry for taking advantage of you at that moment because you couldn’t have known what you wanted and god, I should be old enough to—“

“What if you weren’t taking advantage of me?” Aquaria whispered, then speaking louder, “What if I did want you?”

Brianna’s pulse jumped. She clenched her jaw.

“You’re too young Aquaria. You can’t know.”

Aquaria stood up. “I’m not a—a child Brianna. I’m _eighteen_. I can make my own decisions.”

With a flat laugh, Brianna replied, “Baby, you should’ve seen the crazy things I was doing at eighteen. You may feel old now, but I don’t want you to regret anything when you’re older.”

The younger stepped closer and grasped her arms, echoing her stance from the night before. A tingling sensation spread from the point of contact, spreading down Brianna’s body all the way to her feet. 

“Stop treating me like a kid.” She looked up through her long lashes, her warm eyes determined. “I know what I’m doing.” She shifted her hands up Brianna’s arms. “ _Please.”_  

 _“_ This is for your own good.”

“I don’t care about that.

“We can’t, Aqua. We really can’t. And your mom—“

It was then that she finally noticed them. 

Running up Aquaria’s forearms were a series of bruises: two groups of five arranged in small half-circles, each spot like a black oil flower that branched out, encircled by a mottled yellow at the edges. They contrasted starkly with the paleness of Aquaria skin, hiding on the underside of her arms where the sun scarcely touched.

A hot anger burned inside her, thick and vicious in a way that she hadn’t felt in years. Her fingers clenched into fists before she forced them to relax.

“Okay, so that’s—“

“Aquaria, baby where did you get these.”

Aquaria twitched in surprise, not expecting the sudden change in topic.She looked down.

“What are you—oh, these? They’re nothing.”

“Where did you get them from?”

“Really Bri, it’s nothing. There was just a boy last night that got a little too rough. I’ll get over it. I can barely feel them.”

A strange sense of calm overtook her. She felt like a spectator in her own body.

Brianna raised both hands to her lips and kissed them carefully, then placed one on each of the bruises. Aquaria’s skin smelled clean with a hint of an apple scent. Her arms were incredibly soft against her lips.

Aquaria’s mouth parted as she exhaled sharply. 

“Who did this?” Brianna asked against her skin.

“I told you he—I—it was no one important,” the younger girl stuttered, her blush from earlier returning, spreading down her neck to the wings of her collarbones.

“Baby, who?”

“It was—the guy I was with last night...he just got a little rough when I told him to stop. Bri it’s nothing...I haven’t had to deal with before.”

Imagining other people, other boys touching her Aquaria and hurting her...Brianna wanted to find each one of them and make sure they never touched anyone again. She felt dangerously possessive even though she knew subconsciously that she had no warrant for her feelings.

Brianna bit down on the inner corner of Aquaria’s wrist, sunk her teeth in just the slightest bit. She could feel Aquaria’s pulse, fast and erratic against her cheek.

Aquaria whimpered, eyes fluttering closed. She looked _obscene._ Her tank top stretched tightly across her flushed breasts, thin enough that Brianna could see the outlines of her hardened nipples. Her thighs trembled minutely as they squeezed together. The younger girl swayed forward, leaning closer into Brianna’s arms. 

Just as quickly as it appeared, the anger settled into a different kind of heat, one that was slow and searing, licking down her ribs and pooling below her abdomen.

 _Imagine how responsive she would be on your fingers,_ her mind suggested cruelly.

Brianna wanted to ruin her, then kiss her back together, piece by piece.

Her eyes flicked to Aquaria’s lips. They were wet and pink, a little indent visible where she had been biting them. 

 _No, Cracker. Self control,_ she reminded herself. Brianna took several deep breaths, compelling her body to listen to her for once, goddamit. _Think about Sharon. Think about Aquaria._ She calmed down just enough to change her course of actions. 

Instead, she hugged her, wrapping her arms around the younger’s girl’s narrow shoulders.

“If anyone ever touches you again, you tell me, okay baby girl?”

Aquaria stiffened, then relaxed more and more as the seconds passed, until she was soft and pliant in Brianna’s arms. The fight seemed to go out of her. She leaned heavily against her, tucking her head into Brianna’s neck.

“Okay, I promise.” She mumbled, each syllable slurring into the other so that it sounded like one long word. 

Brianna kissed the top of her head.

She couldn’t give Aquaria what she thought she wanted, but she could at least do this: protect her. Take care of her.

Aquaria’s arms wrapped around her waist.

It would be hard, but Brianna could control herself. She had to.

-

Ever since that morning, the two of them held a fragile truce.

Brianna kept herself from doing anything she might regret and Aquaria didn’t kiss her again.

They did other things instead. On mornings where they were both free, Brianna would drive them out and Aquaria would show her all the best spots in _this wet bandaid of a town. God Brianna, you’re so lucky you can travel and live in New York City. I can’t wait til I get out of here._ One afternoon, Brianna attempted to teach Aquaria how to create shrimp ravioli from scratch. It resulted in a white powdery kitchen that resembled a snowstorm and a bubbling happiness in Brianna’s heart that should’ve scared her, but she only laughed harder, ducking when Aquaria threw another misshapen lump of dough at her.

When Aquaria fell into one of her bouts of sewing, Brianna would sometimes bring her unfinished paperwork to the basement and occupy the old sofa in the corner. It never ceased to amaze Brianna, watching Aquaria in her element, creating such beautiful designs from her mind.

If Aquaria was still awake when Brianna came home, they would curl up together on the couch and watch whatever movie the younger girl had chosen that day, blasting the air conditioner as even the nights became humid and unbearable. Aquaria would lean her head against Brianna’s chest and laugh at her occasional commentary, her giggles making her entire body shake.

It was okay.

She was happy. Really.

Brianna pretended that she couldn’t see the boys that Aquaria went out with, returning home with tangled hair and dark bruises on her neck. On somedays, Brianna felt like she couldn’t breathe, like each mark made her lungs twist tighter and tighter until there was no space left.

She pretended that she didn’t wish for a different pair of lips kissing her asleep every night. 

It was better if things stayed that way.

 - 

_Aquaria_

Brianna was driving her absolutely _insane_. 

After the “incident”, Aquaria backed off. She wasn’t the type to keep pushing when the attraction was clearly not reciprocated. And things were actually okay for a while between the two. Except, the blonde had closed off from Aquaria recently, pulling out excuses when Aquaria asked if she was free, coming home late into the hours of the morning so that their movie nights dwindled to little or none.

She couldn’t for the life of her understand what she was doing wrong.

“Blair, I swear she hates me.”

The blonde rolled her eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh as she flipped through the clothes racks. 

“I know you think that everyone can hear the inner monologue going on in that pretty little head of yours, but I can’t, so I need you to spell it out for me. Who hates you and why does she?”

Aquaria pouted. “Brianna. She’s been all cold and distant lately and I have no idea why!”

“Your mom’s girlfriend?” asked the blonde, glancing over at Aquaria. “Weren’t you two just hanging out here the other day? I thought you guys were pretty close.”

“We are—or were. I don’t know.”

The truth was, under all her complaining and grumbling was a layer of hurt. Because even if Brianna didn’t feel the same way, they had in a way become friends—at least, that was what Aquaria assumed. Aquaria liked Brianna as a person. The older woman was kind, always patient with Aquaria’s rambling mouth, and could make Aquaria laugh like no one else.It hurt a lot more than she would’ve liked to admit, as if someone had gouged out the hollow beneath ribs and left an empty aching sore.

“I think you’re just overacting a little Aqua. Don’t worry.”

Aquaria sighed. Blair was right. She was just being dramatic. And the two of them hadn’t done much more than make out in the dark for a few insignificant minutes. Brianna probably wiped the event from her mind already. 

“I know. Thanks”

Blair patted her face cheekily.

“Now, help me choose a bathing suit for Monique’s pool party. What do you think? Is the pink too tacky?”

This was more up her alley. “It’s cute and what not, but I think stripes would be better. Think 60’s barbie doll: striped halter top and high-waisted bottoms.”

“Thanks Aquaria! Of course, I don’t need to help you with anything. You could wear a diaper and still look gorgeous.”

Aquaria pulled her hair behind her shoulders and raised an eyebrow at Blair. “Of course I would.”

Her stoic expression cracked and they both giggled. Aquaria helped pick out a different swimsuit for Blair, then they stopped by a Starbucks on the way home. She ordered her usual iced soy macchiato, offering a grin when the cute boy at the cash register smiled at her, his cheeks dimpling as he did so.

Unsurprisingly, there was a smiley face on the side of the cup, with a phone number and the name ‘Matt‘ written in a bold green ink. Matt winked at her on their way out and she smiled back. Aquaria felt validated in a way. It was nice being wanted, to know that there still _were_ people out there who wanted her.

When Aquaria returned home, she was greeted with table full of freshly made pasta and tossed salad.

“Honey, you’ve returned just in time. Go put your things away and come down when you’re ready.”

Apparently Brianna was starting work later than usual because it was half past seven and the blonde was standing next to Sharon, putting the dinner plates down. She threw Aquaria a lukewarm smile, then returned to finishing her original task. The older woman was wearing her pink apron again, the one that cinched teasingly at the bend of her tiny waist and pulled tightly cross her curves. 

Aquaria’s heart sprung into a uneven cadence as she watched the older woman make her way around the table. Brianna’s gaze didn’t stray.

_Why won’t you look at me?_

Remembering her mom’s comment, Aquaria nodded shakily and rushed up the stairs.

Dinner was the usual affair despite the tense air between her and Brianna, something that only Aquaria seemed to notice.

“How was your day Aquaria? Anything interesting happen?” asked Sharon. “I heard that you went shopping with your friend.”

“Yeah. It was fine.”

“Great.”

Standing up, Aquaria leaned over to scoop a serving of pasta. At the same time, Brianna reached over and there was a momentary back and forth as neither ended up grabbing the spoon. “I'll get it for you love,” smiled Brianna as she took the plate from Aquaria’s hand. Their fingers brushed, Brianna's skin a warm pressure against hers, making the hairs rise on her arms. It seemed like any touch she could get these days was intensified, like the woman had touched her everywhere instead of that one point of contact.

“T-thanks.”

Brianna nodded, leaving the plate in front of her without looking up.

A sudden urge to draw Brianna’s attention flared beneath her sternum. “There was this cute boy that I met when I went out to the mall today,” blurted Aquaria, setting her fork down.

“I see,” said Brianna. She carefully chewed a forkful of pasta.

“He gave me his number. Do you think that I should call him back now or wait until tomorrow?”

“Honey that’s up to you. I don’t know how you kids do it these days,” offered Sharon.

_Look at me look at me want me—please._

But Brianna didn’t look up. She didn’t make eye contact with Aquaria once.

Aquaria felt like someone had pulled the rug from under her feet. She was tilted off her axis, stuck in a space of uncertainty. A wave of urgency for Brianna’s attention built until Aquaria felt like she was drowning. _Why why why?_ The question threatened to spill from her mouth, making her squeeze her wooden chair seat in an attempt to keep the words in.

Didn’t she know that none of the boys mattered, that the only person Aquaria wanted to be held by was Brianna? 

“Huh.” Aquaria stabbed the last pasta shell on her plate. “Thanks for the advice. I’m done. Dinner was good. Thanks.”

She cleared her plate and headed up.

From behind, Brianna drew in a slow gulp of air. Her fork trembled just the slightest bit before she stilled it. 

“How cute,” laughed Sharon. “Kids these days.”

—

The house was still, dark and unmoving as Aquaria silently closed the door. 

Her mom was gone for the weekend, off to L.A. to work on her newest studio album. Brianna had come home an hour ago, after Aquaria escaped up to her room because she was too scared to address whatever rift that had come up between them in the past few weeks.

There was a warm breeze in the air, blowing pleasantly against her damp skin as she walked towards Monique’s house at the end of the street. Slipping through the gate, Aquaria tightened the towel around her swimsuit-clad body and hurried once she saw the group of girl that had already arrived. 

“Girl,” exclaimed Monique, standing up from the chair she was lounging on, “You made it!”

Aquaria hugged Monique and waved back at Blair, where she was sharing a pool chair with both Aja and Yuhua. On the other side of the pool, Dusty poured Aquaria a glass of cheap white wine and gave it to her with a grin. “It’s cause we’re bougie darling,” she said, her vowels open and wide when sounding out the ‘darling’.

Taking the chair next to Monique, Aquaria stretched out her muscles, letting the tension roll out of her shoulders. As much as she loved Jordan, she missed hanging out with all the girls at night, drinking cheap alcohol and laughing about stupid things without a care in the world.

Two glasses later, Aquaria was pleasantly tipsy but no where near drunk, leaning on Blair’s shoulder as they circled around for a good old game of truth or dare.

Aquaria giggled, placing the empty wine bottle in the center. “Okay, I’m going first. Oh, and if you don’t go through with your truth or dare, the group gets to decide the punishment.” There were a few half-hearted groans, but no one stopped her when she began to spin the bottle. It wobbled in a few shaky circles before coming to a stop in front of Yuhua. Aquaria grinned. “Truth or dare Yuhua.”

“Of course I’m going with dare bitch.” 

“I dare you to make out with the bottom of Aja’s foot.”

Aja cackled, yelling, “Ay, sis that’s disgusting,” but still stuck out her foot on Yuhua’s lap. Yuhua didn’t even hesitate, bending over and latching on to the heel of Aja’s foot, slobbering all over it as she attempted to make out with it. The entire group erupted into fits of laughter. Aquaria fell over onto Blair, tears in the corner of her eyes. “You’re a nasty bitch!” shouted Aja, wrenching her foot from the other girl.

They went through several rounds after that before it final landed on Aquaria, slowing with an ominous scrape toward her.  

Dusty smirked at her. “Truth or dare.” 

“Truth.” 

“Tell us your current crush.”

Aquaria’s face flushed beet red, her mind automatically conjuring an image of Brianna in her tight pink dress, staring at her from her dark thick lashes. She tried to steady herself and put up a nonchalant facade. “There’s literally no one I like right now. I mean come on, we’ve been with the same people in this tiny town since fifth grade. Give me a better one.” 

Blair’s sharp eyes caught her blush, one eye brow raising as she stared at Aquaria skeptically. “I call a lie on this one.” The group made various noises of agreement despite Aquaria’s protests. “So,” Blair continued, “unless you tell us the truth, that means we get to decide a punishment.

Aquaria rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll do it.” As long as she could get out of answering that question, she’d be up for anything.

“Hey,” Aja offered, “I know. You have to run home after naked. No shoes, no bra, no nothin’”

Aquaria interjected, “Okay, guys nothing illegal or something that will screw me over long term.”

Aja threw Aquaria a towel. “You get this, sis. Or nothing.” 

Dusty nudged her foot.

You’re not a pussy, are you Aqua?”

“Fine.”

Half an hour later, Aquaria stood in Monique’s driveway with nothing but a towel and her keys in hand. The thin white towel barely skimmed the top of her thighs, but for the first time, Aquaria was thankful for her small breasts because at least none were popping out from the top. A sudden wind buffeted her side and she clutched the towel closer against her body, still wet from the pool. The girls cheered quietly as she gritted her teeth, hurrying down the sidewalk before she accidentally flashed a passing car. She glared back at the girls, but she wasn’t too mad. Last year, Monique was dared to eat trash out of an actual dumpster, which made Aquaria gag just from thinking about it.

At least it was already past two a.m. The street was dark and empty, the only sources of light coming from the flickering street lamps above her. By the time she reached her house, a thin layer of sweat had coated her skin and her hair was partially dried. She pushed the key in and turned the knob as slowly as possible. Aquaria ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. She had almost reached the beginning of the stairwell when she suddenly ran into a wall. With a shriek, Aquaria stumbled back, barely holding onto to the thin towel over her body.

Or, it wasn’t a wall. It was a sleep-ridden Brianna, her blonde locks tied into a messy ponytail, thin wisps framing her face as she blinked the weariness out of her eyes. The softness of her sleepy form made something flutter beneath Aquaria’s ribs.

“Sorry Aqua, I was grabbing some—“

Brianna paused.

Her gaze roamed the length of Aquaria’s body. After over a week of being deprived of Brianna’s attention, the sudden focus was almost too much. Brianna swallowed hard, snapping her eyes away. There was rigidness to the older woman that wasn’t there before. “Why—what are you wearing?“ Her voice was low and grinding, like rusted nails.

Looking down, Aquaria remembered her undressed state and rushed to explain her self. “This is—it’s not what you think—I was dared. I was playing a game earlier and the other girls dared me,” stuttered Aquaria, reaching her arms out in an attempt to placate, or perhaps to pull in Brianna’s attention again, bring her gaze back to Aquaria. _Why aren’t you looking at me? Why are you so cold?_

Brianna seemed to be on the verge of saying something, before clearing her throat, keeping her eyes trained on the floor as her eyebrows creased. All that came out was, “Oh?”

Aquaria was mortified. She had practically molested Brianna that night weeks ago and caused her to distance herself from Aquaria. She didn’t want Brianna to think that she had done this on purpose—not after Brianna made her discomfort so obvious.

The towel had begun to slip, so Aquaria hitched it up higher, though it only showed more of her bare thigh as it slid up. She tried to tug it down simultaneously and watched Brianna trace the movements. The woman’s eyes were almost predatory, pupils blown wide like the ones of a lion chasing it’s prey. Her throat bobbed as she forced her gaze away again. 

Something clicked in Aquaria’s brain.

Maybe—

Maybe she didn’t like Aquaria the same way. Maybe she wasn’t willing to give up her relationship with her mom to be with her. 

But Brianna _wanted_ her.

And if Brianna only wanted to fuck her, she would take whatever scraps of affection the older woman was willing to toss her, even if they were only feelings of lust.

“Would you fuck me if I asked you to?”

Brianna choked. “What?”

Aquaria steeled her shoulders, walking toward Brianna. 

“Tell me you don’t want this”

“I—“ The older woman clamped her mouth shut.

Aquaria took another step forward, her heart pounding hard.

“Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop. I’ll stop bothering you.”

Brianna’s jaw ticked, her teeth clenching before she gave in, meeting Aquaria’s eyes. Her voice was soft, each word chosen with care. 

“How could I not, sweetheart.” Her smile was sad. “It still doesn’t change anything anything between us.”

 _It changes everything_ , she realized, a slight hysterical edge to her thoughts. The knowledge sent a dizzying rush of relief and desire through her veins. 

“Take me, Bri. _Please_.”

Brianna shuddered. “You don’t know what you’re asking for,” she rasped, taking a step back with each one Aquaria took, keeping the space between them. Her back thumped against the wall. “I don’t think I can stop—“ The older woman planted her hands behind her, a grimace twisting her beautiful features. It looked like the words hurt coming out of her mouth. “We can still go back to how things were before, Aquaria. It isn’t too late. Once we cross this bridge, there’s no going back. You’ll regret this. I can’t do this to you.” 

Aquaria pressed her forehead against Brianna’s, the blonde’s exhalations blowing hotly across her face. “Just once then. We’ll get it out of system and things will go back to normal.” It wouldn’t for Aquaria, but she was willing to take the risk.

“It’ll never just be once,” Brianna whispered.

“You can’t know that." 

“This could ruin everything.”

“Not if we don’t tell anyone.”

Aquaria took a step back. She grabbed the edge of her towel and let it fall to the floor, stripping herself bare in front of Brianna.

“ _Please_.”

And with it seemed to fall the last of Brianna’s restraint.

Brianna kissed her.

No, she _consumed_ her, prying Aquaria’s lips open and dominating her with her tongue, licking into every burning crevice of her mouth. Aquaria whimpered and and wound her arms around Brianna’s neck like a flower reaching for the sun, a sense of relief consuming her, so palpable that she could feel it in her very core. 

Her legs were already wet and slick, a layer of dampness coating her inner thighs. Brianna gripped her neck, letting out a low sound into her mouth when she felt the younger girl’s wetness against her leg. Aquaria’s head fell onto Brianna's shoulder, her lips parted in a silent moan as she pressed desperately against the firm muscle.

"Look at you doll. So beautiful. So pretty.”

Aquaria flushed even redder at the praises, her whole body throbbing in response. 

Brianna clutched Aquaria’s hips and lifted her up with almost frightening ease, nipping at the delicate skin of her neck as she carried her up the stairs. Every step jolted her body,bringing their hips together in gentle rocking motions that offered just enough friction to leave her teetering over the edge. It wasn’t enough. Aquaria gripped the strong planes of her back, whining when the older women bit teasingly at the shell of her ear.

"What do you want? Tell me sweetheart."

Aquaria whimpered, gasping when Brianna pushed firmly down on her neck. ”Ahh-I n-need-I need you to fuck me, mommy."

The word rolled off her tongue so naturally that she didn't notice her slip, leaving her confused at Brianna's abrupt halt in the middle of the stairway.

“What’s wrong?” 

She opened her eyes and met Brianna’s dark gaze, the liquid black pools pulling her in.

Then Aquaria’s brain caught up with her mouth. _Mommy_. It was one of those things that Aquaria never realized she wanted, nestled so deep into her subconscious that even the word itself shocked her. _Oh_. The very thought of it however…Brianna holding her down, kissing her, whispering in her ear how pretty her baby looked for her…it made Aquaria force down a moan, her bare thighs clenching tighter around Brianna’s waist.

But _fuck_ , she had ruined everything, just when Brianna had finally given and said yes.

“I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean—ngh…” Aquaria broke off, choking out a cry as Brianna push her fingers down harder into the spot just at the base of her neck, where it felt like a million nerve endings clustered, shooting sparks throughout her body.

“Is that what you want?” Brianna whispered lowly, “To call me mommy?”

Aquaria nodded, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

“Then _mommy_ ,” said Brianna, pulling Aquaria closer as she continued to climb the stairs, “will take care of you, baby girl.” In response, the younger girl keened high in her throat, so turned on that she couldn’t form a single thought.

After passing the door way to Brianna and her mom’s room, the older woman laid her gently onto her mattress, pausing one more time to ask, “Aqua, are you sure that this is what you want?”

Aquaria pressed a kiss into her mouth in response.

She had never been more certain.

“Please, more than anything,” she said thickly, tugging at the loose nightdress that still hung from Brianna’s generous curves. “Off off off.” The strap fell from Brianna’s shoulder as Aquaria pulled at it again with a whine.

“Alright baby.” Brianna kissed the tip of her nose, a small smile on her lips as she took the dress off. Brianna looked gorgeous: full round breasts, thick ass, and a shadow where her abdominal muscles clenched sporadically. Brianna hand grasped her chin, then trailed in an agonizingly slow pace down her body. She paused at Aquaria’s breasts, circling the right one with her palm. Her calloused fingers skating across the sensitive nub, an almost reverent expression on her face.

Aquaria closed her eyes in embarrassment. “Sorry they’re a little small. I know it’s probably not much in comparison to your—ah!” 

Brianna sucked a nipple into the hot cavern of her mouth, swirling her tongue over the swollen bud with the same intensity as her kisses. She looked up at Aquaria with hooded eyes while flicking the nipple with her tongue. She bit down, making Aquaria cry out, her toes curling at the mix of pain and pleasure. With a loud pop, she released the nipple and latched onto the other while slipping a hand down to the wet folds of Aquaria’s entrance. 

An agitated noise caught in Aquaria’s throat. “Unh-Mommy I…”

Brianna leaned up and nibbled gently on her ear. “Look at you baby girl, all wet and dripping for me,” she whispered hoarsely, rubbing small circles with her fingers. "You would take my fingers so well.”

Aquaria’s entire body trembled in anticipation. “Please, I n-need them.”

Brianna slipped one in, her thumb skimming over the swollen flesh of her clit, and Aquaria whined, bucking her hips toward Brianna. “You’re so tight, Aqua,” whispered Brianna, her chest rising with fast shaky breaths. “I bet you would love it if I stuffed you full of my fingers, if I fucked you nice and hard, huh baby?” She nudged her finger in to the second knuckle, slipping in easily because of all the slick that was dripping down her thighs.

“Yes _please_ …” Aquaria ground down experimentally and shivered. “It feels s-so good.” 

The younger girl looked away, embarrassed at how desperate she looked lying there with her thighs splayed open, fucking herself down on Brianna’s finger. She had never gone further than heavy groping with the other boys, always stopping them before they had gone any further. Any previous attempts from her own clumsy fingers were never like this. This felt almost overwhelming, like Brianna was touching a deep intimate part of her. Her fingers were carefully but steady, stroking and prodding and—

Brianna inserted a second one, her fingers curling up just right, hitting a spot that made her vision white out, the entire line of her body thrumming with unreleased tension. 

“Ngh— _yes yes yes_ please,” Aquaria slurred, her mouth slack with pleasure. Her head lolled back, a pink flush spreading down to the swollen peaks of her nipples. Her thighs splayed further, right heel digging into Brianna’s back to pull her closer.She felt dizzy, the whole room spinning into one big blur until the only thing she could see was Brianna hovering over her, pressing soothing kisses all over her chest. Aquaria writhed into the bed sheets, pushing both into and away from the onslaught of sensations.

“Mommy—I need—,” Aquaria begged. 

Her hot pants ghosted over Aquaria’s breasts as she whispered, “I got you baby girl.” She gently flicked Aquaria’s clit, massaging the sensitive flesh and inserted a third finger.

“Ah…” Aquaria couldn’t help but bear down on her fingers and press into the light ministrations of Brianna’s thumb, little _uh uh_ ’s leaving her parted lips with every stroke. Something had been building inside her, coiling tighter and tighter with every rhythmic pulse of Brianna’s fingers. Aquaria just fell so _full._ She thought that if Brianna reached any deeper, she could reach Aquaria’s heart and take it with her.

“Aqua, baby you’re doing so well. You’re such a good girl, taking my fingers so nicely.” 

“P-please, please Mommy if you continue—I can’t—ngh,“ Aquaria sobbed, fucking down on Brianna’s brutal fingers as they pumped harder. She gripped the bed sheets at her sides, squeezing her eyes shut as her body trembled, the pleasure building and building until it reached a dizzying peak.

“Come for me, baby,” whispered Brianna. She gripped Aquaria’s nape and pressed down hard, rubbing her clit as she curled her fingers up at the same time.

“Oh—oh…” Aquaria tipped over the edge, crying out as waves of pleasure crashed through her, a feeling so intense that it felt like her body was burning into ashes. She hiccuped out a sob, clenching down hard around Brianna’s fingers. She could only ride the wave out, letting it take her away until everything finally settled. 

Aquaria felt lightheaded, like she was hit with a heavy dose of laughing gas. The whole world was hazy. Brianna's face faded in and out; she was smiling, but there was a slight pinched look on her face. It took Aquaria several minutes to realize that she was talking to her. 

"-you okay baby? Come back to me Aqua.” 

Her body felt warm and clean. Aquaria noticed a wet cloth that had appeared on the bed-side drawer without her notice. Brianna cradled her face, tracing the curve of her eyebrows and moving down to her to her kiss-swollen lips. The younger girl nuzzled her hand. Her cheeks felt wet and puffy; Aquaria realized that she had been crying. 

“’S all good,” slurred Aquaria before reaching her arms out toward Brianna. “What ‘bout you? I need to make sure you—“

Brianna held her wrists gently and laughed, “Hey, hey it’s okay baby girl. You’ll take care of me in the morning. Now sleep.”

Aquaria grumbled but relented, rolling into Brianna’s embrace, tucking her head under her chin. They stayed in that position for a few minutes, although it could’ve been longer but Aquaria really wasn’t able to focus on anything at that moment. 

She pulled away and tried to center herself. “Brianna, n’d to talk to you about something.”

Brianna kissed the top of her head. “Okay, I’m listening.”

Her heart thumped hard and Aquaria wondered if Brianna could feel it. The blood rushing through her body brought some more clarity to her mind.

Aquaria swallowed. “I know we can’t have this forever—I’m not that stupid—but what about just for the summertime? I’m only here for another month or so before I have to leave. You and Sharon are probably going off on another world tour together or something. It’ll be like a short summer ro—fling. Yeah.”

Brianna pressed a kiss into her palm, then several into the spaces between her fingers. She look contemplative, a slight frown curving her mouth. Aquaria was almost certain that she would say no, but couldn’t go on without trying.

She sighed, smiling ruefully down at Aquaria. “To think that I thought I could deny you.”

Aquaria’s eyes widened. “Does that mean…“

“Just for the summer.”

“ _Thank you thank you thank you_ —“

Aquaria snuggled closer to Brianna and laid her head on her chest. Her cheeks hurt from how wide her smile was.

She would be miserable after everything ended, but Aquaria would take anything Brianna was willing to give, even if it was just sex.

—

_Brianna_

The younger girl was curled up at her side, her pale body contrasting sharply with the navy blue of her sheets. Aquaria looked like a porcelain doll, and Brianna felt like her hands were much to big and careless to take care of her the way she deserved to be.

Brianna had woken up half an hour ago, but she stayed in bed, wanting to elongate this quiet moment as much as she could.

There was a tug in her heart that she refused to acknowledge. 

But she couldn’t because the young girl tucked her head closer and it wrenched, tugging her deeper and deeper until she couldn’t remember how it felt like to breathe without the weight of Aquaria on her chest.

_What am I even thinking?_

Brianna sighed. Aquaria mumbled something into her chest and shifted closer. Brianna ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead. She would do anything for the girl.

It scared her.

It scared her because she could feel her carefully constructed control slipping through her fingers like the silky strands of Aquaria’s hair, and for the first time in her life, she didn’t care.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp. Guess I have to change the tags now.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it ^^ Feedback is loved <3


	4. IV

_Aquaria_

Aquaria woke up in parts, slowly and with a clouded sort of uncertainty.

A fleeting pressure on her forehead. The foreign press of heat against her body. 

She must’ve crashed at Monique’s place after the party.

The room swam into existence. It was bright. Not bright enough to shock Aquaria out of her sleepy haze but she squinted anyways. 

“C’n someone turn off the light. ‘M tryna sleep you bitches.”

Soft laughter. “Love, it’s me.” 

Aquaria’s eyes snapped fully open. _So it wasn’t a dream._

There was something glorious about experiencing all that was Brianna Cracker first thing in the morning. Brianna was turned towards her, hair sleep-mussed and golden against the bed sheets, her features subdued and open in the morning light. Small folds creased by her eyes as she smiled. It was a wistful smile, the kind that invoked memories of summer rain, sewing needles, woolen blankets that could never stop the seeping cold no matter how many she piled on. There was a tinge of sadness too, like she was hinting at the incoming rejection Aquaria knew would spill from her lips.

Brianna hadn’t left yet, but Aquaria’s chest ached as if she was already gone.

Aquaria sighed, leaning into the hand trailing through her hair. Her body fit into the hollow of Brianna’s side, their legs twined together, Aquaria’s toes peeking out from under the covers.

It was scary how much Aquaria would give up to wake up like this everyday.

“Hey Bri.”

“Hey to you too.” 

Aquaria longed to kiss the space between her eyes, to taste her plush lips. She wanted to lose herself so completely that she could forget all the repercussions that dwelled in the dark corners of her thoughts. Instead, she reached out to touch Brianna’s face, running her fingers along the slopes of her eyebrows and the curve of her jaw. The older woman smiled, allowing Aquaria to trace the laughter lines by her mouth before grasping Aquaria’s hand, pushing a kiss into her palm. 

She shifted to meet Aquaria’s gaze. 

Her eyes were beautiful: blue and clear like a looking glass. Except Aquaria was not Alice and this was no fairytale. There was no wonderland waiting for her on the other side. Though it certainly felt like a fantasy, as if everything was as fleeting and temporal as mist. 

“Aqua. Baby, we need to talk about this.”

The words clashed inside her mouth before they stumbled out. “Can we not—” Aquaria paused. Her chest rose quickly. “Didn’t we already? I thought…you said it was okay. If it was just for the summer. It’s only a few more weeks and mom won’t find out if we’re extra careful. She’s always gone anyways and it won’t matter by the time we end it.” She felt almost desperate to justify herself, like Brianna might deny her if the words didn’t come out fast enough. “You said that it was okay.”

Aquaria was a pathetic excuse of a daughter, but she couldn’t help it, not when it involved Brianna. She was scared Sharon might find out. But she was more scared that she would lose Brianna, would wake up and find herself in a world where she didn’t know the weight of her arms around Aquaria’s body, the way Brianna’s heart heart pounded a steady rhythm against her cheek.

The older woman stroked Aquaria’s chin, her thumb gentle and calloused. “I did, baby. I did. But I shouldn’t have done this to you. I should’ve stopped us before we did anything—“

“ _No no no_ you do not get to do this.” She took in a ragged gasp, jerking away from Brianna’s hand. She couldn’t take it away now. Not after everything that had happened. Aquaria didn’t think she could take it. “You promised, Bri.”

“I’m doing this for your own good.”

“Stop acting like I don’t know what I want. I want this. I want you.” She clenched her hands. “You said you wanted me too.”

Brianna cupped Aquaria’s jaw. “I did—I do.”

“So let’s do it. Don’t think about it.”

“I…” She sighed, ducking her head against Aquaria’s hair. “It doesn’t work like that love,” she whispered, “But I was stupid to think that I could stop this. We shouldn’t—we _can’t_ be doing this but…”

Aquaria’s heart stuttered. “But what?” 

“If we are, I need to make sure you’re absolutely sure.”

Relief coursed through her. 

“Yes _yes_ of course—“ 

“And only for the summer.” 

“Yes okay can we just.” Brianna had shifted out of her hold and Aquaria missed her warmth. She reached an arm out to pull her back in.

Brianna pressed a chaste kiss on Aquaria’s mouth, as if to placate her. Then another. She began to pull away again and Aquaria made a dissatisfied sound, hooking a leg around Brianna’s and pulling her closer, pressing their bodies together. The fluttering in her stomach gave away to a searing burn as Brianna deepened the kiss, brushing her tongue over the seam of Aquaria’s lips and slipping past to stroke her tongue, the sensitive roof of her mouth, licking and teasing and caressing. All her fears and her worries faded away until all she could think of was the sweet taste of Brianna’s mouth, the hot press of Brianna’s breasts against hers, the woman’s answering moan as she tugged Aquaria closer and nibbled Aquaria’s bottom lip—

“ _Ohh—_ ” Aquaria rubbed against Brianna’s leg, breaking their kiss with a gasp as the contact made her whole body quiver.

Brianna’s pupils were blown out, the blue from earlier now practically non-existent. The woman turned, eyes clenching shut. “Aqua, we—we need to finish talking,” she breathed, voice cracking when Aquaria lined their hips up. It felt embarrassingly good: rubbing against Brianna’s sleep shorts, Aquaria’s wetness staining the fabric. Aquaria whined into Brianna’s shoulder. “Bri—ngh— _I can’t._ ”  She struggled to slow down but she was swept up in the heat and pleasure and she couldn’t stop, the friction just right against her sensitive flesh. 

The blonde gripped her hip, one hand coming around to cradle her neck. “Hey, hey it’s okay love. Calm down.” Their chests rose and fell in unison. 

 _Fuck_.  She clenched the bed sheets, turning her head into Brianna’s hair to pull herself together. It only made her lightheaded, the older woman’s musky floral scent permeating her senses and reminding her of last night. _Such a good girl, taking my fingers so well._ Aquaria held down a whine. She was afraid Brianna could feel her desperation, afraid that she knew how badly Aquaria wanted this. Even the smallest thing—a whisper, a touch, a kiss—set Aquaria off. 

She panted, struggling to slow her stuttering breaths.

“G-give me a second,” she muttered, closing her eyes. _Breathe. In. Out._ Their hot breaths mixed together in-between their bodies. Brianna ran her hands up and down Aquaria’s arms. _Calm the fuck down._ “What…what else is there to talk about?”

Brianna caressed Aquaria’s cheek, turning the younger girl towards her. She placed one more lingering kiss on her lips, coaxing a content sigh from Aquaria.

“I need to make sure that we’re on the same page here love,” Brianna said.

Aquaria swallowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She held Aquaria’s gaze. “Is calling me _mommy_ what you genuinely want? Because we don’t have to play if you don’t want to. I want you to be comfortable with whatever we do.”

Aquaria felt embarrassed. Frustrated. And unsurprisingly, turned on. She didn’t know what she wanted. All she knew was that last night was like a dream that could evaporate at any moment and all it would take was a single wrong word and Brianna would drop her. If she saw what was in Aquaria’s head…if she knew how much Aquaria _needed_ this…

“I want it.” Her voice was raw and breathy. “Sometimes. Most of the time? I don’t—I don’t know why. I think…I want to be taken care of?” A pause. “It doesn’t matter.” 

“It matters to me, Aqua.”

Her throat tightened.

“I like it. Ok-kay?” Aquaria was appalled to feel tears gather in the corner of her eyes. _Pathetic._ She wiped her eyes. “Is that not g-good enough for you?” She shoved her fist in her mouth but she couldn’t stop a sob from breaking out, catching in her throat before it cracked out into the silence a whip.

“Baby…” Brianna wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in, tucking Aquaria’s head into her shoulder as she rocked her gently. “I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

Aquaria sniffled and clutched the hem of Brianna’s shirt. She wasn’t used to the rapid-fire change of her emotions. They seemed to snap back and forth at the smallest agitation ever since Brianna entered her life, and it was wearing her down. “I-It’s okay. It’s not your—I don’t even know why I’m crying—I’m not sad, it’s—“ A hiccup cut her words off.

“Shh…I got you baby.” 

She shifted closer to Brianna and closed her eyes.

It would be okay. It had to be okay. The only thing Aquaria could do now was take whatever she was given. 

—

The rest of the morning was…nice.

They stayed in bed for another hour after Aquaria’s embarrassing break down, Brianna rubbing soothing circles in her back until her cries had quieted into nothing.

 After, Aquaria convinced the older woman to shower with her— _it’s faster Bri. We’ll be saving both water and time_ —and pinned Brianna against the wall, licking into her mouth while trailing a hand down her taut stomach and returning the favor from last night. She swallowed Brianna moans in her mouth as the woman came, any control she had left slipping away along with the water sliding down their bodies. 

Not that Aquaria had much control in the first place. Sue her. It wasn’t like anyone else could resist if they were in her position. 

Brianna expressed her thanks by pulling Aquaria onto her thigh and making her come in an embarrassing short amount of time—Aquaria wasn’t complaining—before proceeding to lather Aquaria’s hair in the floral shampoo that Aquaria had become accustomed to smelling. She practically purred as she let her head fall against shoulder, wrapping her hands around Brianna’s ass. 

And what a lovely ass it was.

Apparently she had said it out loud because Brianna swatted her playfully, yanking her hair back—which, okay. Another revelation. 

Later, Brianna made her favorite waffles and they ate it on the sofa while watching reruns of _Firefly_. 

“I still can’t believe they didn’t renew them for a second season. The fans did not deserve this.”  Aquaria stabbed her fork in the air to emphasize her point. ”The cast did not deserve this.”

“Such a tragedy,” said Brianna. 

“I know right? I mean, we got genuine fucking characters with human flaws who were underdogs in a flawed system that—you’re laughing. Why are you laughing?”

“I’m—I’m not laughing love. Go on, I’m listening.” 

Aquaria pouted. “You know, just because I’m like a decade younger than you doesn’t mean that I deserve this treatment.” She tried to glare at Brianna but gave in, letting out a giggle.

“It’s not that. I’m just…surprised you have time to get invested in shows like these when your mind is already filled with all your magazine clippings and fashion knowledge.”

“I don’t know. I guess if I care about things, it just sticks in my mind. I’m a real fangirl, babe.” Aquaria fluttered her eyes, making Brianna chuckle at her. “I’m surprised that _you_ didn’t watch all the different classics. _Firefly_ —I get it. But _Clueless_? Or _Breakfast Club?_ ”

Brianna opened her mouth and paused before saying, “I…didn’t grow up with the best childhood. We were pretty dirt poor. I actually went around looking through trash just to make my own dolls,” she laughed self-depricatingly. “It’s pretty stupid looking back, but we were happy at the time.” She brushed Aquaria’s hair back. “Anyways, I didn’t have time to get caught up with ‘classics’ and things of that sort. So, thank you for sharing them with me.” Brianna brushed a kissed against Aquaria’s cheek. “It means a lot.”

 _I understand_ , Aquaria wanted to say. _I know what it feels like to have nothing and still have to make something out of it. I know what it feels like to have to create your own happiness._

But all she did was whisper a _thank you for sharing_ into Brianna’s skin. 

Brianna pulled her into her lap and Aquaria relaxed back into her embrace, hooking her feet under Brianna’s ankles.

For a few hours, she forgot that none of this was real. 

—

Of course, Aquaria would have to eventually return to reality and realize that their arrangement was…unusual. Unacceptable. It would lead to irreversible damage if Sharon found out.

So, Aquaria learned to accept certain unspoken rules that came into existence in the coming days.  

The rules existed as a safety net, a little _hey what you’re doing stupid, but that’s okay as long as you are being even stupider than you have to._

It began after Sharon came home.

—

“What are you working on?”

Aquaria shuffled across the bed to look at Brianna’s laptop screen, hooking her chin over the woman’s shoulder. Brianna’s fingers faltered, then fell back into motion.

“Just looking over some emails for work. This month’s guest speaker at one of the clubs backed out so I’m trying to find a new one.”

The younger girl nuzzled her neck. “Why would you need a guest speaker for a club?”

“Some—” said Brianna, “some of mine of more private than others and the members need…well entertainment to say the least or they get prissy with me.” 

With a careful hand, Aquaria brushed the blonde locks back, pressing her lips against the shell of Brianna’s ear.

“A-Aqua, what are you—“

“And what do you do to those who get prissy with you?”

Brianna wet her lips. “I…”

Aquaria slid the computer on the floor and straddled Brianna’s waist. “All morning, I’ve been looking at you, wanting you to fuck me. And you haven’t even looked at me once.”

The blonde laughed darkly. She dug her fingers in the dips of Aquaria’s waist, making the girl arch her back. “There isn’t one moment when I’m not thinking about you baby.” Brianna bit down on her throat. “You’re being a little brat right now, aren’t you?”

“M-mommy—“

The door knob turned.

“I’m back! Are you two in here? No one answered when I called earlier.”

“Shit-“

Both of them sprang in action action; Aquaria rolled off and lunged for her phone, praying that she looked winded instead of turned on; Brianna flipped her laptop open and started typing as if nothing happened. She didn’t even look fazed.

Sharon popped her head in. 

“Aquaria, you’re in here as well! How has it been since I was gone?” 

“Mom! Things have been great.” She flicked her eyes at Brianna then quickly looked away. “We’ve been doing pretty well together.”

“I’m glad that everything didn’t fall in to chaos. Now my trip was chaotic. The day after I left I…“

Aquaria nodded along. She exhaled shakily.

 _Too damn close_.

—

Rule One: Always lock the doors.

—

Rule two: Never leave visible marks.

—

For obvious reason, this rule mainly applied to Brianna. However that meant the blonde could mark _Aquaria_ wherever she wanted _._ It was lucky that Aquaria enjoyed it very very much.

Brianna could spend an hour pinning Aquaria down, sucking bruises into the column of her throat and down the path of her chest. Her favorite place was the top of Aquaria’s breasts, the sensitive strip of skin that was pale and translucent, untouched by the sun. 

 _Mine,_ Brianna would whisper, digging her fingers possessively into Aquaria’s hips as she bit down. _You’re all mine baby._

 _Yours yours always yours._ The words ran in a litany of circles until she couldn’t tell beginning from end, the words morphing into a jumbled mess so that she couldn’t speak, only tugged Brianna in, pushing her head closer.

Sharon had commented on the bruises one day at breakfast and Brianna gazed at her with hooded eyes, watched her stumble through the explanation with a dark satisfaction.

—

Rule three: Don’t stay overnight. 

—

The slam of the front door ripped through the house like a thunderclap; they tore away from each other, Aquaria struggling to breathe as she bowed over, forehead pressed against Brianna’s. 

“She–she’s home early.”

Brianna kissed her lips one more time, brushing one on her forehead as well.

“I have to go sweetheart.”

Aquaria reached out as Brianna stood up.

“Wait—no—can’t you stay?”

“I’m so sorry baby, I can’t. I have to go back.”

“ _Please. Please please please—“_

 _“_ I’m so so sorry.”

“ _Brianna!_ ”

The door clicked close.

Aquaria choked back a sob. 

 _“_ Come back.” But the room was silent.

—

Rule Four: Don’t fall in love.

—

It was midnight. 

Aquaria lounged on the sofa, curled up in Brianna’s arms. The woman’s heartbeat thumped a comforting beat against her cheek.

The blonde’s arms were looped around her waist, hands resting on the small of Aquaria’s back as she typed out a response on her phone. Every few minutes, she would run a hand through Aquaria’s damp hair, nails scraping pleasantly against her skull.

To think that before they met, she thought that Brianna would take away her time with Sharon. She felt more comfortable with Brianna after this short time than she did with Sharon after eighteen years.

Aquaria nestled further into her embrace.

She could love Brianna. So easily.

 _Stupid little girl_ , her brain whispered, _as if you haven’t fallen already_.

—

_Brianna_

The bathroom mirror was cracked.

Brianna took a swig from her water bottle and wiped the sweat from her brow. The bags under eyes were more prominent than usual. Her reflection warped along the fissure, splitting her body in half.

She sighed, closing her eyes and stretching out her back. It had been too long since she took the time out for a full workout. Her muscles felt worn and tired, but it was a good kind of tired that only came from a thorough session of pounding in a heavy bag and pretending that it was filled with all her problems. 

_Stop running away, Cracker. You’re a grown woman. Start acting like it._

Her fingers trembled where they hung at her side.

_Control yourself, dammit._

Brianna splashed water onto her face, not caring that it smudged her make up.

It had reached a point where thoughts of Aquaria followed her into every facet of her life. If it wasn’t about her, then her brain would run in circles about why she should tell Sharon the truth. Why she should stop this before she ruined everything. Why she should take Aquaria and never let go. 

She hadn’t slept a full night in two weeks. 

Her phone vibrated on the bathroom counter. Brianna wiped her hands off before she picked it up. 

“Cracker! Girl, how are you doing? I haven’t talked to you in ages.”

Brianna grinned, letting the warm tones of Monet’s voice wash over her,. Just hearing her friend’s voice helped her body relax. “Sorry Monet, I’ve been caught up with some things here. How are you?”

“It’s the same old here: drunk bachelorette parties, decent tips—oh, Bob stopped by last night, that bitch. He wanted me to pass a message for you cause you haven’t been answering any of his emails.”

“What did he say?”

“Apparently, the fat hedge fund guys have been harassing him at the Core about the “preposterous groups of hippies” that have been hanging around the club lately. And he’s also been getting a headache trying to deal with the next artist rotation at the Century. This is what happens when you decide to take a two month vacation and leave Bob in charge of your clubs.”

Brianna sighed, leaning back against the counter. “What about Bianca? I thought she was helping out?” she asked. 

“About that…Bianca dropped out last minute so he really needs you. I do not know anyone else who can handle all of this as well as you. No one else is competent in this place,” admitted Monet. 

The blonde bit her lip. “I’m not sure if I can come since it’s coming up so soon.”

“It’s not like you can’t afford a last minute ticket girl,” countered Monet with a snort. “What have you been doing down there in Philly anyways? It can’t be more interesting than New York.”

“Actually, it’s not bad here.”

“And? How’s it going with Sharon? Don’t tell me you two have already put a ring on it.”

“It’s going.” She sounded uncertain even to herself. 

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“I’m rethinking some things. It isn’t—the thing is, Sharon hasn’t changed at all. She’s still the same messy hilarious bitch I met in the beginning. But I think I’m a different person. Like, we were on the same page four months ago, but now we’re not even reading the same book.  Do you know what I mean?”

Monet hummed in affirmation. “So you’re going to break it off with her then.”

“Maybe—I don’t know.”

“Girl, why don’t you come down to New York for a week and clear your mind. I would’ve suggested that Sharon come, but considering the current situation…”

Brianna contemplated it. Leaving Philadelphia however meant leaving Aquaria, and Brianna wanted to savor the dwindling days before they slipped from her hands. 

 _Or_ , Brianna suddenly thought, _Aquaria could come too._ The younger girl would love the  hurried days and loud, bright nights, where the skyscrapers loomed like gray giants above the city where Brianna had clawed her way up with the broken heels of her thrift-store pumps. Aquaria would thrive. And New York Fashion Week was coming up, so many of Brianna’s designer friends and clients were in town. 

It couldn’t hurt to accustom her to the city before she left for school.

“I’ll think about it. I’ll definitely let you know. Thank you Monet.” A grateful smile filled Brianna’s face. She could always depend on Monet to pull her out of her own head. 

“No problem. Hope I’ll see you around Cracks.”

“Thanks again. Bye.” 

The phone cut off. 

Brianna sighed, kneading her temples. _Am I going to fast? Would Aquaria even want to go?_

And she had to make up her mind about Sharon. Brianna was many things, but she wasn’t an idiot. She knew that if she continued with Aquaria, she wouldn’t be able to let go come September. 

 _Dammit._ None of this was supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this, like she was consumed by the burning in her chest every time she even looked in Aquaria’s direction. There was a constant throbbing that taunted her, laughing at how weak she was for giving in. 

She needed to decide. Sharon didn’t deserve to be lied to like this.

Maybe it was time to let Sharon go.

—

_Aquaria_

They were lying at the pool again: Jordan in his black swim trunks, lying on his stomach across a white Hooter’s towel; Aquaria in a plunging red one-piece with her towel wrapped around her shoulders, sitting on the edge of the pool. It was late afternoon. Small patches of sunlight shone through the clouds above. The pool was still and lukewarm, filled with leaves from the surrounding trees. 

Aquaria’s toes flicked the water. 

“Jordan?”

“Yeah.”

“Do people have a right to be happy?”

Jordan cracked open an eye. “Where did that come from?” he asked.

“Don’t know. Been thinking about some things I guess.” She inspected a floating leaf with a creased brow, pulling it into pieces. “Just wanted to know your thoughts.” The two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the past twenty minutes, but it only made space for the turbulent thoughts in Aquaria’s head. They had beat against her skull until a migraine began to crept up on her. She needed to know, needed to find some consolation for her actions.

“Well,” he offered, “Yeah. I do think everyone has a right. But it depends on how you look at things. Anyone can be happy if they just look at things the right way.”

“What if your happiness comes at the cost of others’?” 

_What about Sharon? How could she take away her mom’s happiness like that?_

Jordan shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Everything’s subjective so there’s not really one answer,” he said. He stretched his back and rolled over. “Why all these random existential questions?”

“No reason.” Her voice was unsteady.

With a raised eyebrow, he replied, “Okay…” Jordan hooked his sunglasses on top of his head. “You know you can talk to me about whatever right? I won’t judge.”

Aquaria looked back with a smile. “Yeah, I know.” Of course she knew. Aquaria didn’t trust anyone else more than she did Jordan. She picked herself up and flopped on him.

“Fuck off,” Jordan exclaimed, shoving at Aquaria’s shoulder. She giggled and shifted over, throwing a leg on his back. The younger girl felt considerably lighter after talking to Jordan. There was something about his bluntness that lifted her spirits because Aquaria knew she would always get the truth. 

“Anyways, so back to me,” said Jordan, rolling his eyes and ignoring Aquaria’s answering kick. “You know Matt, the hot footballer I hooked up with at the party, he’s actually like not a piece of shit. The other day—holy—what happened? I didn’t notice it earlier. It looks like you got fucking mauled or something bitch.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“Your neck! Here, let me just—” Jordan grabbed his phone and made Aquaria lie back as he took a picture. “There. Look. I swear, one of them looks like an actual fucking bite mark. Someone must have gone wild with the hickeys.”

Scattered across Aquaria’s neck was a series of small dark bruises, one large purpling mark standing out from the rest. It looked as if someone gotten a brush and flicked splotches of purple paint down her neck. She prodded at them. “Oh, shit.” A strange combination of want and bewilderment made her laugh out loud. “I didn’t know they got this dark.”

Jordan poked the biggest one and Aquaria shrieked, swatting him away. “Who was it? Girl, you have to spill the beans. What happened?”

Aquaria gulped. “You don’t know them.”

“It’s not someone from school is it?” Jordan stuck out his fingers as he listed all the potential people. “I doubt it’s one of the girls you hang with. You’ve been with them for years without showing any interest. You haven’t been with any guys recently. Literally, the only crush you’ve had all summer is that one on your mom’s girlfriend—oh shit. It can’t be—it’s her isn’t it?”

_“Jordan.”_

“Oh my god. I knew it. I can’t believe you went for it, but I knew it.”

Aquaria blushed. “I’m—I’m not dating Brianna—“

“I didn’t say anything about dating,” countered Jordan as he stared her down. “Aquaria, what’s going on?”

“Okay, so maybe we’re hooking up,” she mumbled. 

“What? Your mom doesn’t know right? Of course she doesn’t.”

Aquaria huffed. “I couldn’t help it! Have you seen her? I tried to stay away but…”

“Well obviously we know how that went.”

“It’s just…she makes me happy. And safe. I couldn’t let go of her for some reason. You know that’s not normal. I never stay on anyone for long, but god, I just can seem to move on from her.”

“The thing is, do you even know her? Like, outside of your little bubble, who is she? What does she do for a living?”

“I—I know she owns a bunch of clubs, both here and in New York.” Aquaria frowned. “Don’t look at me like that. I know she cares for me. I know she’s one of the kindest people I know.”

Jordan sighed. “So it isn’t just a little crush.”

“No.”

“Bitch…” Jordan looped his arm around her shoulder. “There’s always drama going on with you. You already know my thoughts on this. Yes, you’re being stupid. Yes, this will probably end badly. But, I can personally see the appeal of an older taken man so…” He pulled her closer. “Why do I even put up with you?"

“Cause you love me.” Aquaria grinned. She leaned her head back onto Jordan’s shoulder. They sat for several minutes in silence, lost in their thoughts.

“By the way, Brianna is picking me up. We’re grabbing dinner after this at Chipotle.”

Jordan turned toward her in question. “What about Sharon?”

“She’s coming home late,” she reassured, “Probably won’t be home til midnight.” 

“You two better be careful. How are you going to keep this up?”

Aquaria squeezed Jordan’s arm. “We’ll figure it out. The two of us agreed to end it before I go to FIT next month. So, it’ll be okay.”

“Huh.” His tone was skeptical.

Aquaria sighed.  The broad plane of Jordan’s chest was a comforting weight against her shoulder. She leaned into it. 

“I know.”

By the time Brianna came by to pick Aquaria up, the sky was already a smear of fuchsia and eggshell yellow, like a tray of oil paints had splattered across the blue canvas. Her phone buzzed with Brianna’s text stating that she was waiting outside. Aquaria typed out that the pool gate was open and began gathering her things. 

“Hey Jordan,” called out Aquaria, walking over to him. “Thanks.” She threw her arms around him. He grabbed her waist and lifted her up, smacking a big kiss on her cheek and ignoring her yells for him to put her down.

“Aqua, it’s time to—oh, hello.” 

“Hey Bri.”

Brianna stood at the gate entrance, hand paused in mid air. Her eyes flicked to where they were holding each other. 

Aquaria unconsciously stepped back. 

“Sorry to cut this short but we have to leave now. Aquaria and I have plans after.” She walked over and picked up Aquaria’s towel, wrapping it around the young girl. The older woman’s shoulders were rigid like a bow. 

Jordan raised an eyebrow, his mouth quirking in a smirk. “It was nice seeing you Brianna.” He curved his fingers in a mock goodbye. 

Brianna’s smile was cool and professional. “Same to you as well.” 

A stilted pause permeated the air. Aquaria stood there confused because the two normal got along great. She waved at Jordan and they walked out together, Brianna’s hand resting on the small of her back. 

Aquaria pulled the towel tighter around her shoulders as she sat down.

Brianna shoved the key in and drove away. Passing car lights illuminated the older woman: pursed red lips; white knuckles; a stiff jaw. Her face was painted to perfection as usual but there was a wary stillness to it that rarely graced the blonde’s normally expressive features. 

“So,” Brianna said, “you and Jordan?”

There was something aggressive about the way she gripped the wheel, like it had personally offended her. Aquaria imagined those hands gripping her neck, pushing her head between the blonde’s thighs—which no, not the time. 

It took several seconds for the question to sink in.

Aquaria blinked. “I…I don’t understand what you’re asking,” she said incredulously. 

“I didn’t know that you two were together.”

Was it possible that Brianna was jealous?

Her head snapped in Brianna’s direction. “You know he’s gay, right?”

“Oh. That’s good. I mean, that’s interesting to know.” Her eyes were suddenly guilty, turning down at the corners as she seemed to realize that Aquaria had caught on. 

“Yeah…I’m not—we’re not. You know. We’ve been friends for years and he’s more like a brother to me.”

“I see,” Brianna said. 

Her entire form seemed to deflate. 

“Dammit…I’m sorry love. I was being silly earlier. And I didn’t have any right to act the way I did.“

Brianna’s reaction sent a heady rush through Aquaria. Brianna cared. She was actually jealous. And of _Jordan_ of all people.

The next logical step would’ve been to brush it off. They could’ve laughed about it together, shoved it in the back of the closet and moved on with their lives. Except being around the blonde made her touched starved, constantly wanting to be near her and indulge herself in her presence. Aquaria wasn’t normally a sexual person but fuck, if Brianna didn’t make her the horniest she had ever felt. It was like she had flicked some switch in her—a trip wire flicker that made Aquaria want her. All the time. 

Brianna stared adamantly forward. Her face was a rosy scarlet, a flush spreading down her chest to where the cotton of her dress stretched across her hardened nipples. Aquaria’s heart rate quickened, a sharp ache twisting in her stomach. Sitting there next to Brianna with the knowledge of her jealousy—it overwhelmed her. She had to physically sit on her hands to keep herself from reaching over. 

_Brush it off. Change the topic. Stop being such a desperate—_

“Can I eat you out?” she blurted. 

The car lurched forward. Brianna cursed, bringing her hand to her hair as she gripped the wheel. “Aqua—you can’t just say things like that.” 

Now that the words had come out, it was like a dam had broken and any restraint she had had vanished. “Can I? I’ll be so good for you. Please.” She watched Brianna’s thighs clamp together with a breathless sort of awe. Aquaria was so turned on that everything around her twisted into a blur.  

She reached out to touch Brianna’s thigh. The muscle twitched beneath her hand and the car jolted. Despite her protests, Brianna didn’t physically stop her so Aquaria trailed her hand up, fingering the hem of Brianna’s dress.

“N-not right now baby. We’re in the middle of the road. And we still have to get dinner— _Aquaria_.”

Her hand slipped beneath the older woman’s skirt and stroked her underwear, fingering the drenched lace. Aquaria clenched her legs together. Touching Brianna, knowing Aquaria’s effect on her; it was both a gift and absolute torture. Her mouth watered at the though of eating Brianna out, feeling her thighs squeeze around her head as she shoved Aquaria deeper—

Aquaria bit her lip. “ _Mommy,_ don’t you want me to?” She rubbed the lace, dragging her fingers up and down. 

Brianna shuddered. The older woman muttered an explicative and jerked the wheel, pulling to the side of the empty street. It was dark, the only light filtering in from a distant street lamp, throwing long shadows across the dashboard. 

A firm hand grabbed her wrist, pulling it up to Brianna’s lips. “You want to eat mommy out?” She whispered against Aquaria’s palm, tightening her grasp. Her eyes were pitch black. “Is that want you want baby?”

Any defiance drained from Aquaria, leaving her limp like a puppet. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. She would’ve done anything Brianna asked her to do at the moment. 

“Could you…could you teach me?” she whispered, head ducked in embarrassment because she wanted to eat her out so bad but had no idea how to, no idea where to even start. 

“You’ve never…” 

“No,” she mumbled.

Brianna calmly brushed Aquaria’s hair back. She flicked the strap of Aquaria’s swimsuit. 

The younger girl started. A flush bloomed, spreading down her heaving chest. 

“What—“

“On your knees. In the back of the car.”

Aquaria scrambled to the back—it was like Brianna’s command had consumed her: her body couldn’t do a single thing to resist what the older woman wanted. The g-wagon was big enough for Aquaria to kneel on the floor between the seats, hands planted on the leather cushions. A gust of wind blew against her heated face as Brianna opened the back door. Aquaria moaned in anticipation. Just the thought of eating out Brianna’s wet cunt…

“Come.” Brianna stroked Aquaria’s head as she clambered forward and accidentally bumped the older woman’s knee with her head.

“Sorry—sorry, I don’t know how to…I’m ruining everything.“

“Shh, it’s alright love. Let me show you how I like it.” Brianna spread her legs. 

Aquaria grabbed the seat, hips automatically grinding down on nothing as she whined. _Finally._

Brianna grasped her head and led her gently between her thighs. Aquaria was nervous. She leaned in and drew her tongue tentatively over her wetness. The first lick made the woman moan as she pushed Aquaria’s head closer and said encouragingly, “You’re doing so well, baby. Just spread mommy with your pretty tongue and oh— _fuck_.” 

The older woman tasted sweet and musky and Aquaria wanted _more more more._  

She kissed between her thighs, light kitten licks that made soft sighs escape Brianna’s lips, then dove deeper, licking, sucking, probing with her tongue until she couldn’t breathe, the firm muscle of Brianna’s inner thighs trembling by her ears. 

“Use your mouth to suck my— _god._ ” 

Brianna gripped her neck, pushing her head down and she lifted her hips up, a quiet explicative coming out as she seized the car handle with her other hand. “A-Aqua, look at you, such a slut for mommy. It’s like you were made to eat me out. You like this, don’t, m-mommy riding your face out here where anyone can look in and see you on your knees, begging for my cunt,” Brianna panted, digging her fingers in deeper, “You would love it if I just sat on your face, only made you eat me out for hours.”

Aquaria moaned and pulled away, taking a moment to breathe against Brianna’s thigh. The car seat dug pressed uncomfortably against her spine and her knees ached from the rough car mat but none if it registered. It felt like she was in a dream. Everything was fuzzy like she was underwater.  Aquaria sneaked a hand down between her thighs where her swimsuit chafed teasingly against her crotch, already soaked with her wetness. 

Brianna yanked her hair back. “No. You don’t get to come yet.”

Aquaria keened in response, eyes prickling with tears.  “Mommy p-please—“

“I told you that now was not the time to eat me out, but you didn’t listen did you. So you’re going to eat mommy out and you won’t come until I let you. Understood?”

Brianna’s hand tightened around Aquaria’s nape. She pressed her face in Brianna thigh to keep herself from grinding down and coming right there. 

“Are you going to be a good girl for me or not?” 

Aquaria whimpered. “Yes yes—always.”

“Good. Now finish what you started baby.”

With her thighs around her shoulders, Aquaria delved back in with long slow licks, surrounded by Brianna’s scent and taste, the stilettos of the woman’s Louboutins digging in Aquaria’s back as her hips bucked into her touch. Brianna let out sharp, punctuated moans that lit sparks under Aquaria’s skin. She felt dizzy, overwhelmed by the wetness, the lack of air making her lightheaded and aroused. The thought that anyone could look in and see her so vulgar on her knees, hungry for Brianna’s wet cunt—it made her entire body tremble.  

“God,” Brianna bit out, arching her neck. “I’m close baby. Look at you. So beautiful. So good for me.”

Aquaria wanted to say _use me. Take me. Please don’t leave me._ She couldn’t so she renewed her efforts instead, licking deeper between Brianna’s folds and grasping her thighs to pull her closer. Brianna gripped her hair and _shoved_ , riding Aquaria’s face as she came with a groan, her whole body shaking as she fell apart.

For a few glorious seconds, Aquaria couldn’t breathe. Her vision whited out, ears ringing at how good it felt as Brianna pulsated around her tongue. She heard a high whining noise whistle in her ears, before realizing that it was coming from her. 

The next thing she knew, Brianna had pulled her in her lap and was brushing kisses all over her face. “I’m so proud of you doll.” She wrapped Aquaria up in her jacket and kissed her forehead.

Aquaria blinked blearily at her. Her mouth was swollen and dry, her jaw twinging and knees sore, but she only felt pleased. Content. Her body was wound up and aroused to the point of delirium, but somehow loose at the same time. Brianna’s praises made her preen, nuzzling into the hand that was currently cupping her jaw. 

A proud smiled stretched Brianna’s cheeks. It made a warm swoop of happiness dip in her chest. “Such a good girl for me. You did so well love”

She squeaked in surprise when she suddenly found herself facing the other direction, back pressed against Brianna’s chest. Brianna slipped a hand under the jacket and pulled down her bikini top to pinch her nipple, her other hand tugging aside her bottoms and circling her over-sensitized clit. 

“Ah—ahh,“ Aquaria sobbed out, hands scrabbling at Brianna’s arms at the pulsing heat that burned through her body and punched the air out of her lungs. It was _too much_. Just a few strokes of Brianna’s fingers wrenched her to the edge, her muscles straining as she arched back into Brianna’s embrace.

“Anyone can look in and see what a slut you are, see how beautiful you look spread out like this. But they can’t have you, can they baby? Because you’re mine.” Brianna curled two fingers into her opening and twisted her nipple. “Now come for me baby.”

Aquaria cried wordlessly into Brianna’s shoulder, shuddering as waves of ecstasy crashed through her, sending shockwaves across her body. She could hear her own rasping breath, her chest heaving with each gulp of air.

Brianna kissed her neck and gently removed her fingers with a wet pop. 

“You were so good baby.”

Aquaria hummed in content. She had never felt so satisfied, so loose in her life. Her mind was fuzzy, like she had downed an entire bottle of whisky. 

From behind, she felt Brianna shift. Then there a wet sensation on her body as Brianna cleaned her with a wet wipe. 

Aquaria caught a glimpse of herself in the rear view mirror. She almost laughed at how wrecked she look. Her face was tear streaked and puffy, eyeliner running down her flushed wet face. It looked like someone had dunked her head in a bucket of water, then made her run a marathon.  

With careful hands, Brianna wiped her face as well, placing a kiss on every feature after she cleaned it. Aquaria basked in the attention and leaned into Brianna, a sudden bout of post-sex drowsiness hitting her. 

After Brianna checked over Aquaria and make sure she was okay, they exited the car. Brianna pulled Aquaria into her side, slipping a hand into Aquaria’s in her jacket pocket. She shifted to take her weight when Aquaria leaned into her. 

In the distance, the giant neon _Chipotle_ sign flickered.

Aquaria fell into step with Brianna. She felt drowsy, depending entirely on Brianna to lead the way. It was a typically balmy night, with a gentle wind that blew against her bare legs. Unsurprisingly, she stumbled across the doorway, falling into Brianna’s arms with a giggle. The older woman only placed a firm hold around Aquaria slim waist and pressed a kiss into her hair. 

Fluorescent lights buzzed above. _Teenage Kicks_ played on a muted loop in the back ground. The entire restaurant was empty except for a girl picking at her burrito in the corner and the worker standing in front of them, drumming her nails on the linoleum counter. 

“What do you want love?”

Aquaria blinked. “Wh-what?”

Brianna smiled into her hair. “What did you want to order? I’ll buy it while you go grab us a table.”

“It’s all good. ‘M fine with anything.” 

She sat in only Brianna’s jacket and her swimsuit, dazed and flushed but happy. Her swimsuit bottoms rubbed against her when she sat down, still slick from earlier, but the sensation felt far away. Distant. Unimportant.

A hand touched her back.

“I bought us a burrito bowl for us to share. Is that okay?” she asked. 

Aquaria nodded. She nuzzled Brianna’s neck, only paying attention when Brianna urged her to eat, feeding her by hand. 

She held Brianna’s other hand in her own. Her fingers were rough to the touch but well taken care of, her nails neat and manicured. It was soothing, running over all the lines and ridges that were like little whispers of Brianna’s past that Aquaria hoped she could one day be worthy enough to know. 

Brianna fed her another spoonful, wiping at her chin with a napkin. 

“Thank you mommy.”

“How do you feel?”

“Tired. A little loopy I think,” she mumbled. 

“Anything hurt? How are your knees?”

“I think ‘m good. ’S nothing I can’t handled.” Her head lolled back, resting against Brianna’s temple. 

“Hey baby, you tell me if you ever don’t feel comfortable with something, okay? I need to make sure you know that.”

“Of course. I’m okay with doing anything.”

Brianna exhaled. “You can’t…just say that.”

“Why? That’s how I feel.”

Brianna laughed with a disbelieving look in her eyes. “You’ll be the death of me.”

It was quiet as they finished their meal. Aquaria didn’t feel the need to fill the silence, so she dozed, only focusing when Brianna fed her or stroked her head. 

Aquaria felt her suddenly tense against her body, so she cracked an eye open and looked at the woman imploringly.

“What ’s it?”

Brianna looked pensive, biting her lip before saying, “I…was just wondering if you wanted to go with me to New York for a week. I need to check up on some of my clubs and thought it would do you good to be familiarized with the area. You wouldn’t need to pack much. I have an apartment in the city that we can live. Although, it’s completely fine if you don’t want to. You only have a couple weeks left so I’d understand if you wanted to spend it with your friends and family before you left,” she rambled. 

Aquaria replied without missing a beat. “Of course I would,” she said, then paused mid-sentence as the meaning of Brianna’s sentence sunk in. She actually gasped. “Wait, you’re kidding me. You’re asking me to come with you to New York?” When the blonde nodded, Aquaria grinned so hard that her face hurt. “Thank you thank you—“ She hugged Brianna closer, pressing her face into her shoulder. 

“Of course. I’m happy that you would want to come.”

She watched a soft smile twist Brianna’s lips.

 _I would follow you anywhere as long as you asked,_ she thought. 

After they left, Aquaria fell asleep on the ride home to Cher’s crooning tunes and the heat of Brianna’s palm against her own, lost to her thoughts of the city and Brianna. 

—

_Brianna_

In the few minutes since she put her to bed, Aquaria had already dozed off, her lashes a dark smudge against her flushed cheeks, kiss-swollen lips slightly parted as she let out small not-quite-snores with each breath.

_You deserve more than this. You deserve someone better than me._

If only Brianna wasn’t too selfish to let her go. 

She ghosted her fingers down her cheek, lingering on the swell of Aquaria’s lips.

Imagining some messy callous boy touching Aquaria, kissing her baby…

She felt a spasm in her jaw as she clenched her fists. Brianna puffed out an incredulous laugh. Here she was getting angry and jealous over boys that didn’t exist. As if her misjudged thoughts toward Jordan earlier weren’t bad enough. How could she ever let Aquaria go?

A few thumps resounded from the kitchen below. Sharon must’ve woken up for a glass of water.

 _Why don’t you just tell Sharon? Stop being such a coward,_ her brain whispered, _Tell her the truth._

Brianna let the scenario play out in her head. _I’m cheating on you with Aquaria._ Too blunt. It had to be more tactful. _I’ve been seeing some else._ Something that would convince Sharon that what she they did was wrong but somehow justified.

Brianna walked straight to the doorway and left before she could lose the sudden bout of courage that she gained.

_I’m in love with your daughter._

Sharon stood in the middle of the kitchen, still clad in her pressed pantsuit and blazer, leaning precariously against the kitchen island. Her lips were stained red but her eyes were sharp and calculating as they followed Brianna down the stairs. It was disconcerting to see the usually easygoing woman look so cautious in the way she carried herself. A bottle of Pinot Wine sat sweating a circle of condensation on the counter. 

The sight worried Brianna.

“Sharon.” 

“Would you like a glass, darling? I just poured one for myself.” Sharon’s tone was nonchalant and didn’t betray the cause to any of her unusual behavior. “Couldn’t sleep and I thought a little alcohol would help my nerves. ”

“I don’t drink remember love.” She offered a smile in an attempt to hide the nervous edge to her movements. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“That’s perfect! I wanted to discuss something with you as well.”

Brianna’s throat clicked. She would tell the truth. There was no easy way to come about it, but it had to be done. Sharon would most likely ask her to leave the house, but it was only a couple weeks before Aquaria left for New York. Brianna could just move back and perhaps, it would all work out. 

“I know what’s happening between you and Aquaria.”

Brianna’s eyes widened.

_What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smexy times and angst. Hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> Kudos or comments are loved <3


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: attempted assault

_Aquaria_

_“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Flight HA523 to New York will be boarding soon. Please stand by.”_

Aquaria fiddled with the zipper of her suitcase.

Her nail beds were raw and bitten.  _How embarrassing_ , she thought. She tucked her fingers inside her sleeve and glanced up at Brianna.

Brianna was looking ahead, rubbing circles into the back of Aquaria’s head where it rested on her lap, a frown tugging down her lips. Aquaria followed her gaze over to the rows of airplanes that bunched together on the crowded strip of asphalt outside. It was unnaturally cloudy, leaving everything bleak and grey, like the ocean before a storm. A sluggish air seemed to pervade the terminal.

The crease between Brianna’s eyes deepened the way it tended to whenever she lost herself inside her head.

 _Where do you go in that head of yours? s_ he wondered.

Aquaria squeezed Brianna’s hand. “Hey, you okay?”’

Her hand paused against Aquaria’s skull, before continuing the ministrations. “Nothing. Just thinking about some things.” She scratched behind Aquaria’s ears at the spot near her temples where she was the most sensitive. Aquaria breathed out a content sigh.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Aquaria rested on her elbows as Brianna bent down to kiss her. She heard her own small exhalation escape as Brianna’s lips grazed the hollow of her temple. She lifted her arms to pull her closer, nipping at Brianna’s jaw as she rose up, but the older woman held her still.

“Sorry love, we have to go now. They’re starting to board.”

With that, Brianna stood up and started to collect their belongings. A crowd had gathered between the aisles without Aquaria’s notice.

Aquaria swallowed down the swell of coldness in her chest.

The past few days had been good. Great, actually. She loved when they would just laze on the couch, Aquaria with her sketch book, Brianna with her laptop, reruns of _Friends_  playing in the background as she traced out new designs with her legs hooked around Brianna’s. When even the air conditioning lost the battle against the sweltering heat, they escaped to the nearest Baskin’ Robin, where the sweet vanilla coating Brianna’s lips tempted her until she gave in and licked the sweetness away.

That however was wear the problem lay. Brianna stopped kissing Aquaria.

Well, she did but they were never the same deep kisses. They hadn’t…done anything else either since Aquaria ate Brianna out in the car—the very thought of that moment made her clench her thighs together—and it should’ve be fine. Normal people go without sex for a few days, didn’t they? And Brianna was probably only in the “mommy thing” to please her, so it would make sense if it didn’t come up that often. Still, tendrils of worry squeezed her chest, because  _what if_? What if Brianna regretted everything? Or, what if she wasn’t even interested in Aquaria anymore? The latter somehow seemed worse.

Aquaria picked up her bags and leaned into Brianna’s arm as they walked towards the boarding gate.

This couldn’t last, of course, but she couldn’t help but hope that just maybe, everything would end up alright.

As Brianna searched for the tickets, Aquaria hovered in line and watched her. Her golden-yellow hair was pulled up in a sleek ponytail, the thick locks running like streams of water down her back. Aquaria knew that if she pulled her close, Brianna would smell like Irish soap and lilies and something uniquely Brianna. When they first met, she had felt the air rip out of her lungs, making her gasp and stumble. Aquaria thought the feeling would go away but it only worsened, following her through every moment of the day and sometimes it hurt so badly—days when Sharon would pull Brianna away for a date or a night—that she’d go to the basement and spending hours basting her pieces by hand until the sewing needle had pricked her enough to leave small flecks of blood on the fabric.

Aquaria wrung her hands, unconsciously picking at her cuticles until she caught herself.

They were at the entrance of the plane now. Brianna kissed the top of her head. “Excited Aqua?”

Aquaria grinned despite the turmoil in her head. She forgot just how excited she was for the trip. “Yeah I really am. I can’t believe you’re actually taking me there. There’s so much to do! I made a list. And it’s fashion week, did you know that? We need to go to Niccoli Formichetti’s show, and the Moschino one as well. I heard that—“ Aquaria paused and cleared her throat. “We can go wherever you want to also.”

The older woman laughed. “We can do whatever you want baby. I have to take care of some things for work if that’s okay.”

“Can I come with you?”

“If you’d like but it can get quite tedious.”

Aquaria smiled into Brianna’s neck. “I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”

The flight from Philly to New York was only an hour but Brianna had booked first class seats, so when the seat sign switched off, Aquaria slipped into Brianna’s pod.

“Aqua, baby you have to stay in your own seat,” warned Brianna, but even as she said it, the older woman shifted to make room and tucked Aquaria under her arm, hiding a smile into her hair.

By the time the plane had landed, Aquaria was buzzing with energy, taking in the tall glass windows and steel panes of the JFK airport. She had finally arrived. She felt like she was in a daze, holding onto Brianna’s hand as the woman lead her to grab their bags and wait for an Uber.

The next thing she knew, Aquaria was standing in front of Brianna’s apartment on the hidden corner of fifth avenue, where crowds of passerby left a lingering impression of cigarette smoke and expensive perfume. Brianna’s home was more of a tower than an apartment, looking over the city like a tall glass giant with its asymmetrical staggered floors and sky-high ceilings that made her dizzy when she looked up. A large steel sign read:  _The Atelier._

“You live  _here_?”

“Yeah I do baby,” laughed Brianna.

The interior was even more mind blowing. The marble foyer opened to a large atrium, where hardwood spiral staircase connected the three levels. Everything was sleek and modern, the couches a black Italian leather that made Aquaria nervous standing next to them. She recognized expensive material when she saw it. Floor-length windows spanned the walls, offering an unbelievable view of the Empire State Building and New York skyline.

Aquaria carefully splayed herself across the sofa, beaming back at Brianna. “Can I stay here forever? Please?”

The sad smile on Brianna’s face made her pause, but Aquaria blinked and it was gone.

“Why don’t you head up to shower? It’s on the second floor, first room on the right. I’ll set everything up for us.”

“Join me.” Aquaria nudged Brianna’s thigh. “It won’t take long.”

“Maybe next time,” said Brianna, ”I need to finish up some work. I’ll have your room ready by the time you come down.”

Aquaria sighed. “Okay.”

She was half-way up the stairs before she realized Brianna had given her a separate room to sleep in.

—

New York was everything she hoped for and more.

The morning after they arrived, Brianna explained how the subway worked and brought her to visit FIT, which was more of a cluster of buildings than an actual school campus. Aquaria loved how interconnected it was with the inner city. She spent an hour dragging Brianna to peer into the classrooms and art galleries within the building of Art and Design.  Brianna listed off the nearby eating places and convenience stores that were within walking distance as they strolled past groups of students rushing between their classes.

After, the older woman brought her to her favorite coffee shop in the Lower East Side,  _Ost Cafe_. Aquaria took one sip of the coffee and grimaced. “Ugh, this is disgusting. Where’s the red bull? I need some to wash down it down.”

Brianna almost spit out her drink. She spent half an hour arguing with Aquaria about how coffee was  _not just over-glorified bean water Aquaria, how could you say that? I’ve seen those cans of sugary garbage that you drink, you can’t possibly—don’t roll your eyes at me._

They strolled aimlessly through Central Park, drinking overpriced lemonade and stopping every time Aquaria saw a dog and needed to pet it because, of course. Part-way through their walk, Aquaria slipped her hand into Brianna’s, secretly exhaling in relief when the older woman didn’t pull away.

“Have you always lived in New York or did you grow up somewhere else when you were young?”

Brianna tugged Aquaria closer to avoid a passing carriage. “I grew up in Brooklyn, so technically New York but it still felt like a whole other world from here. Both cities are filled with life, but in a different. Here, the young and tenacious ones survive, but you have to pull yourself up with your own two hands.” She squeezed Aquaria’s arm. “You would do so well here love. I can already tell.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. I never doubted it.”

For dinner, Brianna ordered sushi and cracked open a bottle of champagne, pouring a glass of Perrier for herself. They ate it on the balcony in the company of the moonlight and the honking of cars that filled the city night. Aquaria closed her eyes, taking in the warm darkness that blanketed her body like an embrace. For a while, she lost tracked of time, swept away by the thrum of energy that seemed to encompass every luminous inch of New York City.

 _“_ I love it here. Everything about it.”

“I’m glad.”

“There’s so much to do. I’ll have to pull together a list for the coming months. I’ll probably have a lot of free time though,” said Aquaria casually. “I might be able to, I don’t know. Like during my breaks I could, like…”

“Hm?”

“I—never mind. It’s nothing.” Aquaria swallowed. Her heart slammed against her chest.

“If you’re sure.”

Aquaria clenched the neck of her glass.

_Look at me. If you want me, if you care at all, look at me. Please._

Brianna continued to stare into the skyline, her figure silhouetted by the weak bit of light offered by the distant city. She sat only a few feet away, but she had never seemed so far.

Aquaria curled into herself, missing the way Brianna’s hands trembled when she raised the flute of bubbling water to her lips.

They spent the rest of the night in silence, only piping up occasionally to make an offhand remark, something that could occupy the space.

They didn’t speak about how Aquaria could taste the reluctance on Brianna’s lips when she kissed her.

They didn’t speak about how she had been sleeping in another room, spouting excuses every time Aquaria asked her to come to bed.

They didn’t speak about how she hadn’t touched Aquaria in over a week.

They pretended that everything was fine.

—

Aquaria woke up to the faint beeps of the coffee machine and a loud, booming laugh. Her eyes felt gritty. She peered blearily at her phone.

_8:32 a.m._

_Get up. Stop hiding_ , the numbers seemed to say, taunting her from where they shone on the bedside table. Before meeting Brianna, Aquaria had often replaced sleep with the company of empty red bull cans and a distinct hollow feeling that could only come from being alone. As of now, she had yet to become used to sleeping by herself again. It left her restless, tossing and turning until the late hours of the night.

For a few minutes, she just breathed, letting her breath warm the pillow: the pillow on the memory-foam bed in the room with the opaque open-walled windows that Brianna said she would love. The room was great. Really. There was even a small alcove that held a sewing machine and several feet of beautiful, expensive fabric.

She certainly didn’t hate it. How could she? It was spacious, well-put together, and had everything she needed.

Aquaria inhaled deeply. The room smelled like faux flowers and antibacterial wipes and everything that wasn’t Brianna.

She slipped out of bed before any other thoughts could permeate her head.

The warm hum of chatter drifted closer as Aquaria made her way to the living room. She paused at the top of the staircase.

“—that’s Aquaria. I know that I have to deal with it eventually, but I have some time left. I can’t just do it right away—I don’t know how to break it to her. I need time to think.”

Aquaria’s veins turned to ice.

She wanted to laugh it off, to paint on a smile and go down to reassure Brianna that she shouldn’t worry because Aquaria would be fine. She would be the pretty distraction, stress reliever, person of convenience that Brianna needed. When the older woman was done, they could part ways with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. Maybe Brianna would even pull her into one of those finger-tingling hugs and call her baby one more time, before she returned to her perfect home-made-dinners and 401k life with Sharon.

_Fuck._

Purposefully knocking into the railing, Aquaria padded down the stairs. The conversation came to a halt as she reached the living room.

A woman sat on the sofa next to Brianna, clad in an emerald dress, a navy scarf tied around her head where her dreadlocks were coiled up on top. Aquaria paused on the last step.

She cooed. “Oh, look at you, you’re so adorable. Where did you find her Brianna?” asked the woman as she stood up and pulled Aquaria into warm hug. Aquaria leaned into to it, closing her eyes. Her voice was deep and crinkly, like the sound of old cassette tapes and summer rain.

 _“_ This is Monet, Aqua. She’s helping me out with some issues that came up with one of my clubs,” said Brianna.

Aquaria glanced at Brianna as Monet pulled away. The sight of Brianna in a pair of frayed jeans and a figure hugging t-shirt made Aquaria flush hotly. “’S nice to meet you, Monet.”

“Same, girl.”

Aquaria smiled awkwardly and hovered at the edge of the sofa.  _What do I do?_ , she thought dumbly.  _How much does she know?_ She forced her limbs into motion, stumbling into the space next to Brianna, careful to avoid all physical contact. She heard Brianna saying something, but she barely heard her, a heavy pounding in her ears blocking out all sound. It wasn’t until she felt a light touch on her arm that she came back into her senses.

“Hey, come here baby.”

She was engulfed in an achingly familiar embrace, gentle fingers gripping her neck as Aquaria let out a small squeak of surprise. She fell into Brianna’s lap and inhaled shakily against her chest. Suddenly, the coil of fear and worry and hurt that had been building for days loosened and she melted into Brianna’s body.

Her surroundings blurred, twisting into on solid lump of colors, but it was okay because Brianna would take care of her. A whine caught in Aquaria’s throat as she curled deeper around her body, fingers slipping under her shirt to rest against the tender skin around Brianna’s ribs. Aquaria felt Brianna’s heart beat quicken against her chest, but Aquaria was to drunk on the physical contact to register the snippet of information.

Brianna’s body vibrated as she asked Monet a question, running a hand through Aquaria’s hair before resting it on the small of her back.

 _Please don’t leave,_ she thought, and gave in the deep lull of sleep.

—

Monet visited every other day. Sometimes she’d stay for dinner after spending an afternoon working with Brianna over the particulars for her club. If Brianna didn’t want to cook, they ordered take out.

She met Vixen a couple days later, Brianna’s college roommate, a Senior Staff Editor at the New York Times who organized protests in her free time. She burst through Brianna’s door complaining about the passive aggressive nature of the  _fucking social media team, I swear,_ and came to a halt at the sight of Aquaria’s head in Brianna’s lap,  _The Office_  playing on the TV in front of them.

Vixen raised an eyebrow.

“Vixen, this is Aquaria. I’m showing her around New York before she goes to the Fashion Institute for college at the end of the month. Aquaria, this is Vixen, an old friend of mine.”

“Hi Aquaria,” said Vixen. “Fashion Institute, so you’re what, eighteen years old?”

The words felt biting to her ears and Aquaria flinched.

Brianna’s body stiffened under her.  _“Vixen_. Let’s talk in another room.” She stroked Aquaria’s head. “Stay here, baby. We’ll be right back.”

Things between her and Vixen had gotten off to a rough start, but the woman had sat down next to her one day when Brianna had taken her to one of her clubs, huffed out a sigh, and said, “You know, you’re not that bad.”

It felt like acceptance and made a pleasant pool of warmth sit in Aquaria’s stomach.

—

Brianna took her to so many fashion shows that she lost count, from Oscar de la Renta to Marc Jacobs. She met the man himself, stumbling after Brianna as she approached him and greeted Marc fucking Jacobs like he was an old friend. Aquaria was star-struck and absolutely garbage with her words, but he looked endeared instead of annoyed, so Aquaria took that as a win.

The older woman bought her a Burberry blazer and a Gucci belt that were too expensive, slipping Aquaria a glass of amoretto that was too fine for her taste buds, and brought her to Trader Joes after Aquaria felt an intense obligation to feed the squirrels in Central Park.

Brianna was squatting in the damp soil with her red Louboutin pumps, offering organic peanuts to a throng of squirrels after Aquaria’s insistence, and she felt a tug in her heart. It yanked and tugged, like there was an anchor determined to drag her down.

She was drowning but she would take the water over air any day.

—

Aquaria leaned against the car door, careful to not crease her white Moschino dress as the driver pulled out of the building.

They were on their way to a charity gala that Brianna had mentioned off-handedly the day before. At the time, Aquaria had jumped on the opportunity, caught up by the prospect of mingling with all the celebrated people in New York City, to understand who Brianna interacted with on a daily basis.

But now, she felt apprehensive because she realized that these people were different.They wouldn’t like the awkward small town Aquaria. No, this wasn’t high school where a pretty face could get you half way to the top. She couldn’t fuck this up and embarrass Brianna like that.

“Are you sure about this Bri? I don’t want to like…mess things up for you and what not.”

“It’ll be fine,” said Brianna, glancing over with a smile. “Don’t worry, love. It’s just a small gala a friend is hosting. Many who are attending are regulars at some of my private clubs and I can introduce you to them. They’ll love you.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” mumbled Aquaria.

“How could they not love you? If you really don’t want to go, that’s okay too. I just want to make sure you’re good with everything we’re doing.”

“Of course. It’s just—I don’t know. I’m a little nervous.”

Aquaria sighed. She watched the businessmen and trust-fund kids and harried mothers blur past as they turned a corner. So many people with lives of their own just a few feet away, but it could’ve been an ocean and it wouldn’t have made a difference. She wondered what they would think if they peered into her life, cracked open her brain to examine her thoughts like bugs pinned under a microscope, wondered if they would ask her  _why? Why can’t you just let go? How far are you going to take this?_

Brianna’s fingertips brushed against hers on the seat between them. The point of contact anchored her back to the moment.

Brianna rubbed her leg. “Really, don’t worry. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

The feel of Brianna’s warm palm on her thigh sent jolts of electricity across her body. Aquaria’s throat clicked as she attempted to gather herself. “I—um—I don’t—“ A bump jolted the car, making her hand slip up her thigh, under the hem of her dress. It was too much, after a week of  barely anything, and Aquaria couldn’t help but whimper, the noise stumbling out of her throat into the silent car.

Brianna’s eyes darkened at the sound, her lips parting as she exhaled. Her gaze fell to Aquaria’s lips and her hand tensed, fingers digging into the sensitive flesh of Aquaria’s inner thigh.

Then she was moving her hand away and opening her mouth to probably say some excuse, to change the topic and Aquaria couldn’t take it anymore. She caught Brianna’s hand, gripping it tight in her palm, and begged, pleaded, “I need—please.” It was like a dam had been opened and now the words were spilling uncontrollably out of her mouth. “I need you. I can’t stop thinking about you and you won’t  _touch me_  and I can’t sleep.” Aquaria shut her mouth, her stomach twisting in knots because  _fuck_ , Brianna now knew. She knew how desperate Aquaria was, how needy and pitiful she was.

“Aquaria.” Her voice was soft. Sad. Aquaria refused to look and see the pity in her eyes.

A hand traced her jaw and then there was a pair of lips on her, soft and tender, a warm pressure on the back of her neck. Aquaria emitted a noise of surprise, clawing at Brianna’s elbows to pull her closer, tugging off her seatbelt when the strap kept her from moving. She was falling, her heart faltering as Brianna licked deeper, clutching at her beaded waist, gripping her neck to pull her closer—it felt so good Aquaria wanted to cry. The older woman tasted like salt and desire, making Aquaria’s entire body tremble. Brianna was kissing her like how she wanted her to all week, her tongue flicking against the seam of Aquaria’s lips, darting past to stroke the length of her tongue, coaxing a gasp out of her.

Brianna slipped a hand under her dress and fondled her soaked underwear. Aquaria’s entire body jerked.

“Mommy, p-please.”

Brianna groaned, breaking away to nip at the column of her throat. “So good for me, baby. So beautiful.”

Aquaria whimpered, her head lolling forward as Brianna pressed down on her nape. She felt dizzy, unable to do anything but take it, grinding down on the woman’s fingers as she circled the wet cloth around her clit at an excruciatingly slow place. It was too much, too much friction and pleasure and  _relief_. Brianna breached her entrance with her thumb, brushing over her clit at the same time. Aquaria felt like she would pass out.

A sudden buzzing cut through the air. The next thing she knew, Aquaria was on the seat again, her head tucked into Brianna’s shoulder. The rapid change made her lightheaded. Aquaria watched blearily as the partition rolled down.

The driver coughed. “Sorry to interrupt, but we have just arrived.”

Aquaria blushed, but she was too distracted to care. Losing Brianna’s touch felt like losing a limb. Her body throbbed at the loss. Aquaria clenched her eyes shut and buried her face into Brianna’s shoulder. She could do this.  _Get your self together_ , her brain sneered.

“Are you good, baby?” Brianna’s voice was strained but soothing, wrapping around her like a thick comforter. Her fingers were untangling the knots in her hair, smoothing away the creases in her dress, wiping at the makeup that had smeared on Aquaria’s face.

Aquaria leaned into her touch. Her wet thighs rubbed uncomfortably together, but it was bearable. “Yeah, I’m good.” A sudden wave of weariness hit her, making her eyes flutter shut momentarily.

Brianna tilted Aquaria’s head back. The woman’s gaze was deep and searching, her eyes illuminated a bright blue from the nearby lights of the hotel. “Are you sure? Let me know if you need to leave at anytime during the night and we’ll go right away.”

“I can do this,” reassured Aquaria. How hypocritical would it be for her to ask Brianna if she could come, then bail out because she couldn’t handle one single night. Aquaria always prided herself in being able to call out the bullshit of others, and she herself was not an exception.

The older woman squeezed her hand. “Promise me.”

“Okay, okay I will.”

Brianna gave her a small smile and proceeded to open the car door, stepping out in the warm night. Aquaria followed, steeling herself in preparation.

The gala was held at the Four Seasons in mid-town Manhattan, a towering grey structure that stood out like a sore thumb between Madison Avenue and Central Park. Aquaria gripped the back of Brianna dress as a worker lead them to the ball room where the gala was held. She could hear the clamor of voices approaching as they made their way to the double-doored entrance. A tittering laugh. A scandalous gasp. The clinking of glasses.

It was darker than she expected when they entered the room, which was lit by a series of chandeliers that hung from the onyx ceiling above. Tall arching doorways led out into an extensive garden The space was filled with beautiful people in dresses and suits that cost more than all of her patch-worked closet combined. She released her grip on Brianna’s dress and trailed along as the woman began introducing Aquaria to the people around her.

This gala was certainly smaller than the Met Gala: no paparazzi and less than a hundred people inside. Yet, it was clearly an exclusive event. She could recognize a mix of movie stars, fashion designers, directors of mildly successful indie films, both rising musicians and those who had begun to fade into obscurity. At least half were specifically well known within the New York scene, people who Aquaria had learned about in her research of the city, though there were exceptions. Aquaria almost did a double take when she saw John Galliano chatting casually in the corner while chewing on a mini quiche.

Brianna played the room like a seasoned conductor, guiding and manipulating the conversations with ease despite between surrounding by a throng of power-hungry animals.

And it was intimidating. The soft-eyed Brianna she knew was replaced by someone who was as cool and calculating, someone who understood how to act in these circles. Aquaria had thought that she would enjoy rubbing shoulders with the top one percent, but all she felt was hollow. And tired.

Aquaria tried to be charming, charismatic, pasting a clown white smile on her face, but her conversations felt stilted, leaving her like a lost puppy that mindlessly following Brianna wherever she went.

She swirled the glass of champagne in her hand, watching the clear liquid bubble as it sloshed against the sides. Brianna was laughing politely at something the woman in front of her. Her name started with a C. Charlotte. Cassidy. Claire? It was probably Claire. Claire with her fake eyelashes and grating laugh and multi-million dollar trust fund that ensured the girl wouldn’t have to lift a finger her entire life. She wanted to rip Brianna away so badly, to just ask her to leave and take her home and fuck her until she couldn’t think—which, Brianna might actually say yes to this time. Except, she couldn’t give in and ruin the night for Brianna. Aquaria could do better than this.

“Hey Bri.” Aquaria smiled stiffly at Claire (?) and said with an apologetic look, “Sorry to interrupt. I’m getting a little hungry so I’m going to grab one of those shrimp wonton cups that I saw at the other side of the room. I’ll be right back.”

“It’s alright. I’ll come with you.”

Aquaria shook her head, placating Brianna with a squeeze of the arms when she protested. “It’s fine. Keep talking. I’ll grab one for you too.”

She turned around before Brianna could argue further, swallowing down her glass of champagne before slipping away into the crowd.

Half-way to the food tables, Aquaria felt the heat of somewhere’s stare, the feeling strange and invasive to her body. She snapped her head around but there was no she could see watching her.

Aquaria sighed. God, she was going crazy.

The car ride must’ve tilted her off her axis: she was spinning, twirling, like a merry-go-round that never stopped.

Men and women alike kept staring out her as she passed, their gazes either judgmental or hungry. Sometimes both.

She quickened her pace.

In her hurry, she wasn’t paying attention and ran straight in Monet.

“Oof, girl watch where you’re—oh Aquaria! It’s good to see you here. How do you like this whole thing so far?”

“It’s um,” she said, refusing to meet Monet’s eyes, “it’s great. I like it. The food is, it’s pretty good.”

Monet cackled. “So you hate it. You don’t have to pretend. These kinds of events aren’t for everyone.”

The woman’s deep voice made Aquaria feel a little lighter. “Okay, fine I do.”

“You don’t have to stay the whole time. Where’s Brianna? She’d take you home if you home if you wanted.”

Aquaria was already shaking her head. “No, it’s fine Monet. I’m getting some food and taking a little breather in the garden before I go back.”

Monet gave her a skeptical look but let her go after giving her a look over despite Aquaria’s protests.

By the time she reached the table of food, she felt even more unbalanced than before. Trays of tiny delicacies were laid out in front of her like offerings for some god, except the only god these people worshipped was money. Aquaria smiled tepidly at her own wit.  _My mind_ , she thought. With a tentative hand, she grabbed a pair of tongs to get the shrimp cup she promised Brianna.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you. Not unless you want to wake up the next morning bloated with a face full of oil.”

Aquaria turned around, almost slipping on the edge of the table covers. In front of her stood a woman that could’ve been anywhere from twenty one to thirty five, based off the injections that bloated her unwrinkled face so that it looked like the butt of a ripe pear. She was the kind of person that wore her artificialness like a new leather hand bag that she wanted everyone to fawn over.  _Look at me!_ her face screamed. She was wearing a slinky golden evening gown that Aquaria recognized from the recent summer Versace collection. It clung to her body like cellophane wrap, the glittering material stretched across a bulbous cleavage and widened hips. Aquaria was simultaneously turned off and intrigued by the spectacle that was this woman.

She flashed an impish grin and offered Aquaria a glass of champagne. “You look like you need a drink. Alexis Stone. Pleasure to meet you.”

Aquaria took the glass with a tentative smile. “Aquaria. I’m Brianna’s…friend.”

“Oh, Brianna? We used to be good friends back in the day,” said Alexis. She shrugged her shoulders. “We had a falling out a few years ago over some stupid business issues.”

“Oh, really? I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yes, but none of that is important. It’s all in the past now.” Alexis tilted her glass towards Aquaria. “What is a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?”

The comment made her feel uncomfortable but she brushed it aside. There was no way that the older woman was trying to hit on someone like her. Sure, Aquaria was pretty, but she was an forgettable average kind of pretty that would never catch the eye of the type of people at this gala. “Brianna’s talking with some of the regulars at one of her clubs. I didn’t want to bother her so,” said Aquaria, motioning towards the garden, “I’m going to take a stroll before I go back.”

Alexis’ eyes drifted toward the center of the room. Aquaria followed her gaze and saw Brianna, surrounding by a crowd of eager, young attendees who were fawning over her. She glanced away before the twinge in her chest could develop into something more. Aquaria downed half her drink and smacked it on the table. It burned more than usual, tasting almost salty against her tongue, but she figured it was mixed with some stronger alcohol.

There was hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t I accompany you, babes? God knows how stuck up and annoying all these fake people are. I could use a good break.”

Aquaria couldn’t see the issue with having some company.

“Sure, I don’t mind.”

The garden was dimly lit, but the full moon above offered enough light for Aquaria to follow the pebbled sidewalk that ran between the groves.

Aquaria traced the path until it led to a small opening with four stone benches surrounding a marble statue of two fawns fighting over a lute.

She arched her back as she sat down, releasing a sigh as the pressure from her pinched toes lessened. Aquaria felt drunk, but the good kind of drunk that repressed her emotions without taking away the entirety of her cognition.

They spent several minutes in silence as Aquaria took in her surroundings.

Alexis sat on the other end of the bench. Her eyes were small glistening beads in the shadowed space, so black that Aquaria couldn’t tell her expressions at all. She shifted closer to Aquaria. “How did you meet Brianna?”

“Back in Philadelphia,” said Aquaria, rocking back onto her hands to look up at the stars. There were barely any, just a couple small pricks of light that shone feebly in the expanse of darkness. “It was through my mom. She brought me here to New York to check the place out before I came here for college.”

“Huh. Which college?”

“Fashion Institute of Technology.” Aquaria closed her eyes, breathing in the crisp smell of cut grass and soil.

“I know a friend who went there. Good place. Said the professors were nice.” The woman’s voice was suddenly closer, like she speaking directly in her ear.

A callous grip on her shoulder. The kind that squeezed the neck of a beer bottle, rough and careless.

She flicked her eyes open. Alexis had moved close enough to touch the front of her knee to Aquaria’s thigh. An uncomfortable itch spread down her neck, the hairs rising as Aquaria subtly shifted backwards. It was fine. Everything was fine. Why was she freaking out?

“Um, I—that’s great. To hear that you—uh—your friend liked it,” said Aquaria. She shook her head and moved to stand up. "I think I might go back inside. I’m feeling better now. I’ll just—“

Her surroundings blurred and she stumbled. Aquaria blinked. She was on the ground, her legs bent into a kneeling position, a hand fisted in her hair.

“You stupid little girl. Didn’t your mother ever tell you to never go out alone with strangers?”

“Wha—,” mumbled Aquaria as she attempted to stand up again. Her limbs refused to listen to her and she barely moved.  _Fuck fuck fuck._ There was a fogginess in her brain that distorted her sight and made it difficult to even raise her hand. A crippling fear wracked through her body.

Alexis wrenched her hair back.

“I didn’t know she went this young but I’m not surprised. She always did like pretty things.”

“I don’t—I don’t understand.” Her voice shook, slipping on the last word.

“I thought she was with that singing girlfriend of her’s, but I suppose she’s moved on already. To her fucking daughter. How priceless.” She tightened her grip. “She’ll get bored of you soon enough. I bet she’s starting to already. I can tell just from looking at you.”

Aquaria swallowed. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But I’ll take care of you. Pretty little thing you are. I’ve always wanted to take something of hers that she liked,” sneered Alexis.

Aquaria felt a hand trail across her shoulder blades, under the strap of her dress, and it was  _wrong_  and she couldn’t breathe and she just wanted Brianna and—

Alexis’ hand disappeared.

Shouting. An angry voice rising above the rest.

All the noises were intangible, floating away like a dream.

A warm pressure on her neck. Aquaria inhaled shakily. Flowers. Irish spring soap.

 _Brianna_.

Fingers prodded and poked, gentle but unsteady, small trembles running through them as they moved around Aquaria’s body.

The garden swam into view. Kneeling in front of her was Brianna, soft and beautiful in the pale moonlight.

Her face was ashen, eyebrows tensed into a bend, the line of her jaw stiff as her mouth open and closed in rapid movements.

“—Aquaria, baby are you okay? Talk to me  _please,”_ she whispered, voice straining on the words.

Aquaria tried to speak but her mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. She licked her lips and found that they were numb. In the distance, she could hear Monet’s deep, booming voice, but there was no one else in the clearing besides the two of them.

“I—“ Aquaria exhaled, trying to gather her thoughts. “I want to go home.”

“I’m sorry I need to take you to the hospital to—“

“ _Please._ ”

Brianna bit her lip, hand spasming on the nape of Aquaria’s nape, then nodded.

“Okay baby,” she said and gathered Aquaria in her arms without hesitation. “I will.”

Brianna’s heart stuttered against her cheek.

Aquaria closed her eyes.

Everything would be okay.

—

Aquaria woke up in a faded pink bedroom, the colored ceiling swimming further into existence with every blink.

It was early morning, the sun barely peaking its long fingers through the balcony curtains, leaving shadows across the bare bed.

In the corner, on a black stool that stood out awkwardly against the soft features of the room, sat Brianna. The blonde hadn’t noticed that Aquaria was up yet, still looking down at the lit screen of her phone. She looked tired: her hair was messier than usual, the bags under her eyes like bottomless pockets that hung dejectedly. Even so, she was beautiful. Aquaria wanted to crawl into her arms and never leave.

“Bri.”

“You’re up. How are you feeling?” she asked softly.

Aquaria wanted to say,  _I was so scared. I couldn’t move and I thought she was going to hurt me, but you came. You saved me._ But she held it down.

She tucked her legs under her. “I’m good. Everything’s a little hazy, but I feel okay.” Aquaria reached her arms out. “Why are you so far away? Come here.”

Brianna walked over and perched on the edge of the bed. Her tone was tremulous. “I let her hurt you. I promised that I would watch over you, that I would take care of you and I let that bitch hurt you.”

“It’s not your fault. Nothing really even happened—“

“She drugged your drink. Thank god Monet saw you leaving for the garden when she did because if I came too late—“

Brianna’s jaw clenched, her throat bobbing as she jerked her head away.

“Stop blaming yourself. I shouldn’t have followed her out in the first place,” she insisted. If she had stayed with Brianna like what they agreed to do, none of this would’ve happened.“Hey, stop that Bri. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Come here.”

The woman nodded, a quick laborite moment that reflected her reluctance. She slid into bed and pulled Aquaria in, splaying her fingers over her heart.

“Now sleep,” said Aquaria, “you clearly haven’t gotten any in the past twenty four hours.”

—

After the gala, it was like Brianna’s entire approach towards Aquaria had shifted.

She was constantly touching Aquaria: an arm around her shoulders; a palm on the small of her back.

Aquaria didn’t have to try convince Brianna to come to bed anymore because it’s her who asked for it, tugging Aquaria’s sleep shirt, brushing the hair off her shoulders as the two of them laid so close that Aquaria could see the individual lashes that framed Brianna’s eyes. She would lean in and kiss Aquaria’s forehead, the tip of her nose, the barely-noticeable cut on her cheek where Alexis had left a reminder of herself with her nails.

One night, Brianna pressed Aquaria into the bed, kissing a trail down her quivering stomach, and ate Aquaria out until she was sobbing into the bedsheets, head turned to the side so that she could muffle her cries.

“Let me hear you, baby,” Brianna whispered, kissed Aquaria’s clit before going in, sucking the swollen nub in her mouth, rolling her tongue gently around it. She licked a long stripe up her wet cunt, holding down Aquaria’s quivering thighs when she kicked her legs out in pleasure.

“Ah-ah—mommy.“ She hiccuped out a sob, clenching down helplessly when Brianna licked into her, probing and lapping at her wetness until Aquaria’s entire body convulsed with the force of her orgasm.

Brianna whispered praises against the shell of her ear and curled her fingers in, fucking hard and deep until Aquaria came second time, gasping into her shoulder.

—

They didn’t speak about the incident again, but Aquaria could sometimes see it in her eyes, the way it scared her like Aquaria had never seen before.

She tried to kiss the fear away each time, but the crease between her brows never disappeared for long.

—

The local news channel mentioned a blurb about Stone Enterprises one morning, how the company  _was revealed to have been using illegal chemicals in their makeup after an anonymous tip lead to an investigation on the company run by now disgraced CEO, Alexis Stone._

Aquaria felt no pity, just a vague sort of satisfaction.  

—

Two days before they returned, Aquaria asked Brianna to fuck her with a strap-on.

The idea had sat on the back of her mind for weeks, back when Brianna had first curled her fingers into Aquaria and made her realize how subpar her own digits were. It had stayed, never at the forefront but always there, until she blurted it out that morning in bed, Brianna’s arms wrapped around her as the words spilled out.

“Can you fuck me?”

Brianna gave a small laugh. “Baby, I just ate you out for an hour.”

Aquaria stammered, “No—I mean, like. With a, you know, strap on.”

She felt the woman’s breath hitch from under her. “Aqua, why don’t you think about this. Don’t go rushing in just because—“

“I have been thinking about this. I want this. I want you. Unless you don’t want to, then that’s fine.”

“No, I do—I mean. This isn’t about me. You’re so young,” she argued hoarsely. Her brows furrowed. “You can’t possibly know that you want this. There’s a chance in the future that you’ll look back and regret this and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“Please. I know what I want,” said Aquaria. There was no one else she trusted more than Brianna. It was clear to Aquaria that she would not regret this.

“There’s a lot of preparation that goes into it. It won’t feel like how you expect it to.”

“I know, just—“

“And it won’t go smoothly. It never does the first time baby.”

Aquaria nuzzled her face against Brianna’s. “That’s fine.”

The woman’s fingers fluttered around her shoulder. “You have to tell me the second you feel uncomfortable or want to stop.”

“Okay, so yes?”

—

They went out to buy a strap on together.

Seven-and-a-half inches of silicone. Pale coral pink.

Aquaria giggled, but her body still clenched at the sight.

That night, Brianna was extra careful in her preparations. She made sure that they had everything they needed and kept asking if Aquaria was sure she wanted this.

 _“_ Yes,” she said. Her answer was always yes.

Brianna slipped Aquaria’s dress off, her hands unsteady as she pulled the fabric, brushing against the tops of Aquaria’s breasts. She kissed the soft flesh, sucking a nipple in her mouth, making Aquaria keen high in her throat.

Brianna pulled off with a pop and reached over for the lube. A snap resounded as she flicked open the cap. The older woman assured that there were copious amounts of the fluid coating her fingers. She stretched Aquaria open carefully, working each digit in, pressing soft kisses to Aquaria’s eyelids as she whimpered quietly.

“C’mon, I can take it now,” she slurred, urging Brianna when she felt the familiar tipping point of pleasure looming in the distance.

“Slow down baby. I need to make sure you’re fully ready.”

Before she grabbed the strap, Brianna slid a pillow under her back, placing a kiss onto her sternum.

There was a slight sting as the hard silicone breached her entrance, pushing against her walls more and more as Brianna pressed in, but it was bearable.

Brianna continuously asked if she was okay, if it hurt. Aquaria’s eye were squeezed shut, a flush making its way down her chest. The pain interlaced with pleasure, expanding further and further until Aquaria felt like she would burst.

“Baby, use your words. Is this okay? I need to know sweetheart.”

“P-please more—ngh.”

Brianna twisted their hands together, pushing in further. “You’re so tight, so good for me love. You’re doing so well.” The older woman placed reassuring kisses on Aquaria’s nose, both eyelids, her arms bracketing Aquaria as the younger girl trembled.

“Ah—ah,” Aquaria gasped into Brianna’s shoulder. Everything was searing hot, flames licking up her sides with every solid inch that pressed into her slick entrance. “ _Mommy._ ”

Brianna’s arms were quivering where they held her, her chest rising with unsteady breaths as she looked down at Aquaria in wonder.

“So proud of you baby. Look at you, so gorgeous, taking mommy so well.”

Brianna slid all the way in and Aquaria choked, arching her back the sensation.

“Is this okay? Tell me if I’m hurting you baby.”

“I’m g-good mommy, keep going.”

It was awkward and overwhelming and wonderful, the two sharing a breathless laugh whenever a part slipped, or something wasn’t working.

Brianna twisted their hands around to kiss her knuckles, adjusting the angle of her hips based on Aquaria’s responses.

Aquaria was  _so so full_  and Brianna was beautiful and there and she might not be in a few days. The thought made Aquaria’s chest twist. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes and she shoved her head in the crook of Brianna’s neck, biting down the  _I love you I love you I love you_  that threatened to burst out of her mouth. Brianna reached down to stroke her clit, timing it with every thrust of her hips. Their bodies rocked together as one, moans mingling in the heated space between them.

She kissed Brianna in a flurry of motion, not caring that her mouth still tasted salty from her tears.  _Please don’t leave me._

When she finally came, Aquaria was caught by surprise, a gasp choking out of her throat as pleasure exploded through her body, sending her spiraling into the abyss.

The blonde followed soon after, a groan spilling out into Aquaria’s lips as she trembled against her body.

“ _Mine_ ,” she rasped, biting down on Aquaria’s collarbone.

Aquaria dug her fingernails into her palms, stifling a sob.

“ _Yours_.”

—

Aquaria hated sunrises.

Sunrises meant the conclusion of the quiet solitude of night, when the world seemed so small and insignificant.

That particular morning, the sunrise meant waking up to a cold bed.  

She could see the open balcony door, so she slipped out of from under the covers and pads into the warm morning air.

It was still mostly dark outside, but the little light illuminated Brianna’s figure, casting a soft purple glow over her features. She was smoking a cigarette, puckering her lips as smoke rings puffed lazily out. It was something Aquaria has only seen her do once, but Aquaria has tasted the smokey nicotine in her mouth on more than one occasion and it worried her, but she was always too scared to ask, afraid that it would be the nudge that would snap the fragile balance between the two of them.

Aquaria slipped her arms around Brianna’s waist and hooked her chin over her shoulder.

“Hey.”

Brianna stubbed the cigarette and tossed it in the trash, then wrapped her arms around Aquaria’s.

“Hey baby. Why are you up so early?”

She ducked her head into the older woman’s hair and inhaled the familiar scent. “The bed was cold without you in it.”

Brianna leaned back into Aquaria’s embrace. “You should go back to sleep,” she said, “We have to get up early and pack before we leave.”

“Aren’t you being a bit of a hypocrite here, Bri?”

“Hey, stop it,” Brianna laughed. “You have to listen to me. I’m the adult in this relationsh—“

Brianna cut herself off.

Aquaria swallowed her disappointment.

Brianna kissed her shoulder and it felt like an apology Aquaria never wanted.

Aquaria dragged Brianna back to bed and Brianna ate Aquaria out for what felt like hours, nice and slow, stopping every time she was about to fall, then building her back up again.

After, they fucked like they had all the time in the world.

Brianna gripped Aquaria’s hand, the other petting at her hair as she whispers, “You’re so good for me love. Look at you, taking me in so well. It’s like you were made for me, baby girl. ” She latched onto Aquaria’s neck, sucking a sensitive patch of skin just above her collarbones, branding her, making Aquaria hers.

—

Brianna broke the ~~relationship~~ arrangement off on the car ride home.

Aquaria had imagined so many scenarios, from screaming matches to a messy phone call, but the quiet, anticlimactic way it transpired made a sour taste curdle at the back of her mouth.

“I think we should end this.”

Six words. All the late nights and whispered nothings ending in one sentence.

The urge to protest rose in Aquaria like a storm, struggling to break from her mouth, but she didn’t do it. She didn’t as  _why_ , or  _don’t you care?_ She didn’t beg her to stay.

Because if Brianna still wanted to end what they had, after everything, what could Aquaria say that she hadn’t already?

_I love you. So much._

She laughed harshly. As if that would change anything.

Buried beneath all the disbelief and anger and hurt was a sort of understanding. This could never had ended up more than a summer fling. It was deserved in a way because Aquaria  _slept with her mother’s girlfriend._ She should be glad that the consequences weren’t any worse.

“Okay.”

And so it ended.

When they returned home, Sharon greeted them with questions about the trip and  _what did you girls do there? How was it? I missed you two so much._

They kissed in front of Aquaria.

Aquaria’s heart gave a violent lurch.

It hurt so much more than before because now, Aquaria actually knew what it feels alike to wake up in Brianna’s arms, to fall asleep against her chest, to laugh with her. Her ears had become accustomed to her soft whispered  _baby_ and  _sweetheart_ , her body used to the warmth of Brianna pressed to her back before she fell asleep every night.

How could she have ever thought that one summer was enough?

She shoved down a sob and stumbled back, accidentally knocking over the bag of keychains they jokingly bought at the airport.

The two older woman looked over.

“Honey, are you okay?” asked Sharon. Her eyes were concerned and far too knowing than they should’ve been.

Brianna’s eyebrows scrunched in concern, but she didn’t say anything, her mouth opening then closing in quick succession.

Aquaria muttered an excuse and threw herself up the stairs before they could see the tears gathering in her eyes.

She sagged against her door, sinking to her knees. A harsh laugh hiccuped out her throat.

 _What did you expect?_ her brain mocked.  _Why would she choose someone like you?_

Aquaria gritted her teeth, closing her eyes.

She could still taste the remnants of Brianna in her mouth.

—

_2 weeks ago…_

_Brianna_

“I know what’s going on between you and Aquaria.”

It felt like the ceiling had collapsed in on her. “I-I don’t understand Sharon.”

“She has feelings for you,” she stated, then took another sip from her glass. Her eyes were dark, unreadable. “And you know it. I could tell by the way you two interacted with each other.”

She could hear her heartbeat, her own blood pounding against her ear drums. Sharon didn’t know. She didn’t know the whole truth but.

“Sharon—“

“I understand this puts you in a difficult position.”

Brianna inhaled shakily. “Yes. But it’s fine. Just a harmless crush.”

“I’m glad that we both have the same understanding.”

“Which is?”

Sharon met her eyes. “You do nothing. You understand why, don’t you? God, Brianna you know I hate doing serious talks like these, but I can tell how badly she’s gone for you. I know my daughter, and I’ve never seen her like this. I just don’t want her to get hurt. You get it, don’t you? I mean, putting aside the age difference and the fact that  _we’re_  dating.”

“I see.” Brianna clasped her hands behind her back.

“Thank you honey,” she said, walking over to kiss her cheek. She left a faint scent of bitter wine. “I’m heading up now. Are you coming?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll stay down here for a little longer.”

Brianna lingered in the living room for another hour, lost in her thoughts, asking herself:

_What have I done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took way longer than I planned for but it's up! There's only about two more chapters until this fic is finished ^^ 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me everyone and sorry for all these cliff hangers haha.


End file.
